Sunday, October 16, 2011

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Smug Marrieds

Was I like this when I was in a couple?  If so then I thank everybody who knew me then for not rearranging my face and I'm sorry that I guess i'm not as nice as you people because lately all I've seen is couples and couples and couples shoving their snuggling in my face - seriously, get a room!  I know your all Swedish and would pretty much do it right on the street if it wasn't so cold today but come on!  Some people just want to relax over a little sugar fix and not bascially get diabetes from all the cutsey crap.  And it's not like these people are teenagers with raging hormones they can't control  (we've all been there!) these are ADULTS.  Who basically seem to be starring in an ADULT movie most of the time. 

I just think there are times and places for certain things (like for example a bedroom and when you are alone).  I mean I wouldn't want to bring a kid to certain places around here - should there be R rated coffee shops??  And supermarkets!  When I'm trying to reach something and they're right in front of me making out over the pasta sauce, and I'm like, yeah it's super cute you're gonna cook together now get out of my face.

And what's with bachelorette parties?  It's gross how men go out for one last wild night out, and women celebrate that they got a man.  Because getting a man is not all it's cracked up to be let me tell you.  And not all that difficult for crap's sake, so it's not like its some major achievement that really needs to be celebrated with jello shots. 

So things aren't super hot with Erik the Emotionally Stunted Asshole right now. 

Friday, October 14, 2011

Everything is a Mess

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh crap.  Basically.  I screwed up.  There I said it.  I'm not perfect, I'm just human like anybody but I did something and it's biting me on the ass and okay I deserve it but I get to complain a little I think, I didn't mean any harm!!!!!  And I've had it a little bit tough I think most people would agree so I get to screw up every now and then.  I just don't understand why people can't be reasonable and not expect things of people that just aren't going to happen and I don't see why I am supposed to be responsible for things other people thought.  I mean, how am I supposed to control what people think?  Do I look like a Jedi to you?  I haven't been working out so much lately (more on that in a while... *sigh*) but I'm not exactly Jabba the Hut yet!!!!!

It's a beautiful sunny day here in Stockholm, even if it is pretty cold.  I am going to go a walk to the water and look out over it and take deep breaths and decide what I'm going to do.  Or I'm just going to sit here and stew and bite my nails for a while.  One or the other.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

A friend!!!

Whaddayaknow, right after I posted about feeling bad about not feeling like I am getting to know people here, I just made my first friend!

I went to meet Erik after he had a training session because we had a coffee date (things are okay between us right now, he is trying to understand that I can't give what he wants yet and being patient), and when I showed up he was like "come meet my client" - he had mentioned this girl called Amie before (pronounced Aah-mie, not Ay-mee like in America) and said he thought we would really hit it off. And we did! 

She came out of the changing rooms and was so friendly and excitable I thought for a second she must be American!  She said she had been really looking forward to meeting me and I was even cuter than Erik said and she had been listening to him about us for months and was really rooting for things to work out, and I was like - wow!  Hi!



So we went and had coffee (I met up with Erik later) and just jabbered away the whole time like we had been storing up things to say to each other for our whole lives.  She is super cute and sweet and fun and we made plans to do some shopping (and more fika) next week too. 

Like they always say, boys come and go, but a good girlfriend means everything!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tonight

Me: I warned you I wasn't ready for anything serious
Him: I didn't expect this
Me:  I just got out of my marriage
Him: I can't help how I feel.
Me: Neither can I. 
Him: But I fell in love with you.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Just because it's sunny doesn't mean it isn't Fall

Another new season here in Stockholm.  My third since I moved here, although technically I was here for spring which would make it my fourth, but I dunno, I think I missed it.  Maybe I blinked or something because basically, it was winter until about May, then suddenly it was summer, which was great.  But now it's over and there's a chill in the air but no snow so I guess it's fall.

My second season not being married.  Well okay legally, I still am, but in my heart I am definitely a single gal again.  It took a while.  For a really long time I bought enough groceries for two, including stuff that I don't really like but he does.  And I still bought it, then a few weeks later when it was mouldy chucked it out.  And then forgot again and bought it again the next time I went to the store.   

I kept an eye on baseball scores all summer so I would know what kind of mood he would be in when he got home, then I remembered he wasn't going to come home.  I slept on my side of the bed for a long while, then one day realized I could stretch out in the middle and never looked back. 

There were times I got so lonely I could scream.  I spent the summer walking among all these people who all know each other and are in couples and wondered if anybody would ever talk to me again. 

Swedes are hard work to really get to know.  You keep thinking you're there, you're close, then you get reminded all over again that they have people in their lives that are way more important than you'll ever be and you just have to suck it.

I think they prioritize people by how long they have known them.  If it's between me and somebody they knew at school, I lose every time and so I have no chance.  This is a pretty unimaginitve way to deal with people if you ask me - I definitely wouldn't consider the people I knew in high school to be automatically more important than someone really amazing I just met, but I guess that's just reason # 7,676,339,982 I will never be Swedish.  And also, most of the people I went to high school with are assholes.

Friday, September 9, 2011

You know on...

A rainy day in early fall (even if the rest of the world thinks it's summer) and you spend the day in a cosy candlelit coffeeshop with your honey and everything is as wonderful as could be?  The guy who most of the time you think probably can't spell the world feelings suddenly is all affectionate and says things that just make your toes curl?

And it helps you put things in perspective, things you can't change and really don't matter all that much and it's just a day to smile?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

?!?!?

Okay, I admit that I am weak when it comes to gossip - I love it!  I've said that proudly before and I will say it again - I love gossip!!!!!!  And I think that celebrities should just chin up and take it as part of their job - you want to be famous and pampered and never worry about money?  WEll okay, but people are going to talk about you.  Deal with it, m'kay!!

But I am not a celebrity!  I write a silly little blog about my time in Sweden that REALLY isn't all that interesting and people treat me like I'm some crazy Hollywood person living a fascinating life!  I don't even understand what they find to talk about (I really don't go and read it all myself), can you let me know what is so interesting about my life because I'd sure like to know???!!!  I guess I can't stop people talking about me in other forums but can I just let you know it's weird for me???

I don't know if I should do anything.  Some people are advising me I should go to the forums and confront people who are spreading rumors about me (especially because maybe my ex will find out and use this stuff against me somehow) but I don't know - don't they say not to feed trolls?

It's just really not what I need at this difficult time for me.  Things are getting better for sure, but I am still vulnerable and just don't need bad energy even out there amongst crazies on the internet.  Is it because people are jealous that I get groceries in the same store as some Skarsgards?  Because I've got to tell you, IT'S JUST A STORE!  Buying milk is buying milk, people, it's not that interesting!!

Oh and the funniest thing?  Apparently Erik isn't real either!  He has a website for his personal training!  Look it up, idiots!!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Swedes Glorious Swedes

Why do they all hover randomly in the street and don't move when people need to get by?
Why do they all wear the exact same outfit and have the exact same phone?
Why do they look down on me when I TRY to speak their language and not even listen even though I'm doing my best?
Why do they not have one low-fat option on anything in the store but they are all skinny?
Why do they have no idea what feelings and emotions are and definitely not how to express them to another human being?
Why do they sit in coffee shops all day long even on weekdays?
Why do the men dress like (hipster) women, and the women dress like (hipster) men?
Why are their supermarkets full of different varieties of the SAME FIVE FOODS?
Why did no one tell me that I've been paying for salad and a drink and a cookie every time I buy lunch but I didn't know I had to go get it myself?
Why do they act like being a little bit friendly is a sign of being a freaky stalker like person?
Why do they eat lunch at 10:30 am?

Friday, September 2, 2011

OhioGirl is Back!!

Okay, sorry about getting a little emotional last night, but picture the scene: I'm all snuggled up with my honey, just about to fall asleep, and I decide to check emails on my phone one last time and I have about 20 either friends asking me what's going on, or weirdos telling me I... umm, don't exist.  Mmmmm so okay... why has this blog always attracted people with a screw or two missing?  I didn't ask for this kind of attention!  I guess it's kind of flattering that people think about me enough to make up crazy stories about me - thank you!!!  Now step away from my life, kthanksbye!!!

But anyway I guess it's good because it made me get my butt in gear and start writing in this blog again which I have been meaning and thinking about doing for the longest time.  Basically, summer went a little insane for me, I have had a LOT of personal sh*t to deal with so I just took a little time to be me, you know?  I walked around in the sunshine and sat in parks and watched the water and ate ice cream (sometimes!!) and spent a little time with a personal trainer we all know and love.  Well I do, I don't know about you guys.  And if you do, back away while you still have both your knees!!!!!!

Oh, and worked on getting divorced which was so fun!  Seriously, I recommend it as a leisure activity for all the family, it just makes you feel SO GOOD.

So anyway.  I might go into more detail about this stuff someday, but for right now I want to focus on the FUTURE and TAKING ONE STEP AT A TIME.  And also, in figuring out if I can walk through walls and stuff now that I'm not a real person.

Whatever crazies!

EXCUSE ME????

So, I take a little break from blogging to enjoy the summer and my honey and because I've got enough drama in my real life without having crazies be crazy On me in my very own blog, and today I here that some person STOLE images from this blog to pretend it's part of some tv show and now is telling people that I don't exist?!????? Ummm sorry but I just pinched myself there and I definitely felt it... yeah pretty sure I'm real thanks very much.... Wtf is going on with all the crazies??? Is it a full moon on the Internet or sonething??

Umm seriously though, could we not let this rumor get out of control please? Because that guy I used to be married to will use any excuse not to pay shit and a figment Of somebody's imaginatio can't exactly claim alimOny, know what I'm saying???

Monday, July 11, 2011

Erik

I know you hate this blog but I am desperate.  Please, please call me baby.  I love you and I miss you and I'm so sorry for whatever made you mad or hurt or whatever.  Please just get in touch or could anyone who can get in touch with him just say that C loves him and will do whatever needed to fix this?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Midsummer Night Dream!!

Oh my goodness!  So today is one of those summer days in Sweden where you'd think it was fall or something because there are dark clouds everywhere and you're like, umm, June?  I'd like my money back please.

But anyway!  I'm getting used to it, I guess.  The really weird thing is the light until midnight, it just really messes with your head!  I remember going to bed when it was still light out in summer... when I was about 6!  So it feels weird and cool and kind of kid-like to go to bed at adult time and you would practically need sunglasses if you stepped outside!!

It's midsummer next weekend, which I am gathering is a pretty big deal.  It's funny, because at home people are maybe like "oh, it's the longest day of the year today" ... at the most, but by the sounds of it, it's as big as Christmas here.  I guess it's half-Christmas!

I'm hearing about all these crazy traditions, like doing a dance like your a frog (umm okay... you first!) and singing songs and drinking that shnaps stuff which I tried once and it nearly blew my head off.  Maybe the singing takes the edge off?  So it should be interesting!  I guess Erik has plans for us, so I will go along and dance like a frog and sing about liquor because that's the kind of devoted gal I am!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Ha ha ha ha

Sometimes it's so fun to poke the crazies.  And no one can "warn" me for it in my own blog, so I get to say whatever I like.  It's so funny to me how people can read one post, completely make up their own version of it in whatever reality they live in, then argue back... and it's like... umm, go read what I actually said, then argue with me.  Go right ahead and argue with me, that's cool, but... don't argue with stuff you made up yourself, because then I can't even join in!  And where's the fun in that?

One post and banned - a personal record, I thank you. 
*takes bow even though doesn't understand what's so terrible about disagreeing with one person but I guess some people see things their way and good luck to them*

Love Is

Understanding that you'll always come second...






At least this one has a mistress I know about... it's a step in the right direction!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Things you need to know about Sweden

Six months I've been living here.  An entire half a year!

What have I learned in this time?

Well:

The potatoes and onions are in their own little section around the corner from the other vegetables in Swedish supermarkets.  Who knew?  Not little old me who literally searched for the freaking onions for about AN HOUR when we first got here.

The liquor stores are run by the government which really freaks me out because I don't feel like the King of Sweden or whoever needs to know how many bottles of rose I buy a week, you know?

How can you tell an extrovert Swede?  He's the one looking at someone else's shoes.

Just because men like to wear jeans so tight that you could count the change in their pocket, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't like women.

If you like a Swedish guy and he likes you, don't hold your breath for anything to happen because it will take SIX MONTHS and by then you'd be dead which wouldn't be ideal for a great relationship.

Every meal involves cheese.

When somebody in a store says "hej" to you, this is not an invitation to start a conversation.  You are to say "hej" back.  Not a single word more, or else they will get all freaked out and start to back away like you are a crazy American who wants to be their friend.  Seriously people, "how are you today" does not mean I want to be your best friend forever and have your babies.  Chill!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Detectiving...

A good detective always gets her man!  Wait, I think that's the Canadian Mounties.  So what if I'm a Canadian Mountie when it comes to mystery musician guys.  I look cute in red.







Actually, looking at these, I don't feel so bad.  He doesn't look freaked out at all!  Phew!!

Aaaaahhhh!

OMG I just did something a little crazy.

Oh hell!  But what was I supposed to do?  I've been trying to identify this guy for about a YEAR and he was right there on the street in front of me.

You would have taken a photo too, right?

Remember my rockstar?

I might have freaked him out a little bit, but he's a rockstar!  He's got to get used to fans, yes?  It's fun to be a little crazy!  How else was I supposed to identify him?

If I post the photos here, you guys might know who he is, and then I can go start buying his music... I think he probably wants that, right?  I think it's worth a few moments of "why is that crazy lady taking my photo" ... right???

Rumors!

There are some crazy people with way too much time on their hands!

I keep hearing that the Ex left me and not the other way around... umm, I'm pretty sure I remember it all right and probably know a little bit more than people who were an ENTIRE OCEAN away when it all went down, m'kay?  Seriously, who would argue with somebody about their own life?  What are the chances you are more right than me? 

Just to clear things up for the last time, I will be more honest with you all than I planned to be.  Not that I have been lying or anything, but certain things are hard to lay bare to people, you know?  But I would rather you all knew my truth than the "truth" of crazy haters.  He had a bunch of affairs.  Okay?  That make you happy now?  Last I heard, not that I care a whole lot, he was living with the twinkie secretary who yes, was the one to call me to ask me to come in for the mediation/gotcha session.  His new girlfriend - oh, trust me I get it!!!  I've thought everything you're thinking right now. 

Is it wrong that a little part of me thinks that if he had to move in with somebody it coulda been somebody a little hotter?  I'm not pretending to be a supermodel, but a little conditioner goes a long way, that's all I'm saying.   And also, if she thinks she's his one and only, she is sadly mistaken.  I guess that's her problem now, not mine... good luck sweetie!!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Hmmmm

Not that I'm all that interested, but I'm taking a little break from the sun this afternoon (teensy leetle bit burned!!) and having a nose around some of my favorite nooks and crannies on the internet, including some of the love-to-hate favourites, and I couldn't help but notice that my old *buddy* seems to have stopped blogging kind of suddenly:

http://soderbonanfrida.blogspot.com/

Hmm.  Can't help but wonder why such an attention-you-know-what so suddenly went underground....

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Mushy Cr*p

All of you who have been saying for months and months that he likes me and I've just been too blind/burned by the &*%^* I was married to/stupid to see were right!  Pat yourselves on the back, whydontcha!!


I can't even believe I ever doubted him and us and our feelings, what was I thinking! 

Saturday, June 4, 2011

*Oh*

I know it's only Saturday, but what a weekend.

What, a weekend.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

How do you solve a problem like Swedish men?

Because... damn!  Okay, so where I come from, a guy likes you, he might hit on you sleazily which is annoying but at least it's clear what he wants, he asks you out, you say sure and the rest is history.  Simple, right?

I'm talking to the lady doing my facial today about the whole Erik situation (yeah it's all blown up, story's a comin'...) and I was telling her all the things he has said and done for MONTHS now that make it clear he is interested in me and yet still he hasn't really made a move.  And she was like "oh sweetie, he's Swedish!  He's probably waiting for you to."  And I was like - umm, no.  Not fair.  We have cramps and waxing and childbirth THEY HAVE TO MAKE THE MOVES.  It's the way of the universe!

I mean, when I say hasn't made a move, of course he has.  Moves have happened.  But we're not dating, exactly.  We're friends who... move sometimes.  Or are we dating Swedishly and I just don't even realise?  It's it all too subtle for this American gal who is used to men who are pretty darned obvious about it if they are dating you?

I've lost patience.  I've lost patience SO MANY TIMES and then I see him again and it's like... oh go on then, you are hot.  And tall.  What is it about tall men that's just irresistible?  And sweet and kind and funny... it all blew up again because he asked me how I was.  And it just knocked me for six.  He asked me how stuff in the US had gone, and said that it had been weird without me for a couple weeks.  So he is interested in my life, missed me while I was gone... is all vibe-y and a little unnecessarily touchy... is this it?  Is this a relationship in Sweden?  Am I supposed to jump all on him?  How do you even make a move on somebody almost an entire foot taller than you?  I would need a ladder or a pogo stick or something, which would not exactly have the subtle effect I would be going for. 

Alan Ball I will hunt you down

If this is an actual indication of what the next season will be like:


It's like a tampon commercial meets Dallas.

What the what the what?

Rip somebody's head off already!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What the... ?!

So just as I'm all happy and announcing this as my home, the Swedes go and piss me off!!  What's that about?  I was being nice!!

I hear a lot about how they have a reputation for being rude and unfriendly and freakishly reserved and in to themselves (how do you tell an extrovert Swede?  He's the one staring at someone else's shoes), and usually I don't really agree.  Well I mean, they're not always the most friendly outgoing people, but I really respect people's right to be different and live life how they chose, you know?  If you don't want to say have a nice day to me, that's just fine.  I'll just say it to you and if you look like an a-hole for not hoping I have a nice day back, then I can't really help you there. 

But then today, I took the subway into the city to do a little shopping, and I was standing on the platform waiting for the train minding my own business, and this HUGE guy came right up to me and stood about an inch and a half away from me.  And I was like, wtf?  It was intimidating, he literally was about twice the size of me and he's just standing there, not even looking at me or anything.  After about three hours I finally figured out that he wanted to get past me.

WTF?  Who just stands there like some socially retarded moron instead of just saying "excuse me?".  What is so wrong and scary about saying "excuse me?".  I would have happily gotten out of his way, I have no reason to stop him in his clearly important journey to further up the platform, so it wouldn't have been a problem for me.  But just standing there, intimidating me as a petite woman, expecting me to read his mind.  What's that about Sweden?  So I didn't get out of his way.  Sorry, but if you want something from me, you gotta ask.  Nicely.  Then you get it.  Not before.

Have a nice day everyone!

The reason...

... I haven't been blogging in a while is because I went to the US for a little bit.  Can't post about life in Södermalm when I wasn't there, right?

I went for reasons I might or might not talk about someday, and some sh*t went down that I might or might not talk about someday.  So that's informative, I know.  But I just need a little time to digest, because I really don't understand people who just exist to hate and be negative, I mean, why?  Just why? 

Anyway, back "home" in Stockholm, and it really does feel like home.  I felt good getting off the plane, actually better than the first time back in winter (partly because it wasn't minus a million degrees, maybe!!) but also because it was my choice this time, I wasn't being dragged along like some pretty little obedient wife. 

Maybe my little "brief encounter" (I wish!!!!!!) on Sunday was my reward for being so brave and taking control of my life again, maybe?!

Monday, May 30, 2011

I'd know those lips anywhere

That's all I had to see really, and I knew.  I was chatting later with my friend and I said he was wearing a hat and sunglasses and she was like, so how could you possibly know for sure it was him?  Your always going on about how every guy here is tall and looks kind of like him so probably it was one of those guys and you are just freaking out as usual.  But I knew.

Because what was partly so weird is that I felt like I saw someone I knew on the street.  Not something that happens here a whole lot, on account of not knowing so many people.  So for the first maybe seven seconds that I could actually see him my brain WASTED TIME going, oh hey, that's... that guy I know!  Hi!  Wait... oh crap... I don't know him, don't wave, don't say hi, just... oh hell he's gone.

I didn't take a picture, mostly because I was inside a cafe and he was on the street outside and I just looked up and he was in the window, framed like on a stage just for me.  I would've had to scrabble in my bag for my phone, leave my lunch on the table and race outside and given that his one footstep covers about half a block would have had to run half a marathon to catch him up by that point, and we all know I own the fangirl thing, but that's a step too far even for me.  Plus, I was hungry.

So I just saw him, for a second, through a window, but that was enough.  I don't want to be his friend and maybe even talking to him would have ruined things, what if he was impatient or annoyed that some random American wanted his time when he was actually on a break from America and I just couldn't get over that?   Seeing him with my own two eyes is just okay.

His lips are even more sensual in real life.  Just needed to add that.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Monday, May 16, 2011

A square in my shoes...

Medborgarplatsen on a sunny afternoon...

(or, another stupid little video for you!)

video

Sorry I've been slack on updates lately, just been feeling lazy and meh and whatever about stuff.  But nobody keeps OhioGirl down for long, so I will be back with a vengeance soon!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The List - Melodifesten theme!

If I've understood correctly, I can't vote for Sweden from Sweden anyway, but if I could I think I would be torn between Sweden and the UK:





So I guess jolly old England it is!!

It's all about the music, after all... right?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Spring come back! Was it me? Did I say something?!!!!

So after 2+ weeks of beautifulness, winter freaking decided to show it's face again.

And of course it decided to jump up and be like "hi, remember me?  Here's a little snow to remind you." just when I finally booked a session with the Tall One.  When I called him last week he was really booked up, so it took us till yesterday to arrange a session, which I am really trying not to take personally.  I mean, he's a busy guy and a in demand trainer, I get that, but I guess I thought that maybe after everything I was a little bit more than just another client, you know?  But maybe he was just playing cool - I was the one that disappeared on him, so I guess he has to protect himself.

Anyway, we booked for yesterday morning and he showed up at my apartment at 8am and off we went... and almost right away it started to snow.  The day before we had a teensy bit of what was more like really cold rain for a few minutes, but kind of not really, so I figured it was more of the same.  But as we ran it got heavier.  And even coated the street a little bit (most of it melted as soon as it landed, but not all).  But neither of us said anything. 

We just ran, in silence, me with my heart and lungs just about to explode all over the street and trying really hard not to puke because that would most definitely send him mixed signals.  And neither of us mentioning the fact that we were running through a blizzard in May.

Then we got back to the apartment, and arranged another session for Friday and he said bye and jogged off in the snow.  And almost as soon as he went, the snow stopped.  Now I'm not gonna pretend that the sun came right out and it was springtime again, but, there was no more snow. 

What does that mean?  Is it a sign that Erik is part of my winter and I should move on even though I paid him (with HIS money so it's not like it matters).  Or is there just freaky weather in Stockholm and I'm being a nutjob.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Popcorn for Thought

Hmmm.

Certain things intrigue me.  Now, okay, they're not the most intellectual fascinations, it might be better if I got intrigued by 16th century literature or the history of the Roman empire or whatnot, but whatever.  Sometimes, you need to switch off and be intrigued by silly things.  Shuddup, leave me alone.

Anyway, you might have figured out that I like my little fix of celebrity gossip from time to time.  It's harmless!  I like all gossip actually, whether it's about my friends or their friends or people I've only seen on movie screens (or in fact people I only know from tabloids and don't actually know what they do for a living), it's all the same to me.  I'm not more interested because it's celebrities, I just like to know what's up with people generally, I like to study human nature and relationships and hell okay, fashion.

I get my fix mostly from the net these days because I did try out a few of the magazines here and I found that not knowing what they were saying about people I didn't recognize anyway got old pretty fast.   And actually, the gossip blogs and stuff can actually be more fun because it's more likely they'll be snarky rather than just printing stuff from the person's publicist, and also the comments section can be hours of head-shaking fun at the craziness of people.

So anyway, the question of the day is:  why do certain celebrities get more papped than they should for their level of famousness? 

I know there are rumors about certain people calling the paps and maybe that's just the answer, because otherwise I just can't figure out how this group of people have the bad luck to get caught so often when other people that I (and a lot of other people) would actually be more interested in seeing pictures of can go underground.  And if some of them can go underground and not be sighted for weeks at a time (seriously, I know some sites that scour the internet for sightings of certain people and they are just nowhere to be found) how do they get caught out other times? 

I mean, if Sandra Bullock can hide a whole baby for weeks and weeks, how come Rachel Bilson can't get coffee without being "caught"?

And BTW, blogs that shout CELEBRITIES CAUGHT... and get me all excited that it's going to be something nasty and then after the jump it's ... PICKING UP STARBUCKS really need to look up the word "caught" in the dictionary and be sued for false advertising because it's really not fair for those of us who were excited about seeing something nasty.

Then there's the sort of pap opportunities that seem to be telling a story... are they really, or are we finding answers in innocent photos because we had the questions?  Like when there's rumors of a break-up and suddenly they're seen out together... is it just that they didn't break up so happened to get coffee (and btw why are celebrities forever getting coffee?  It's like it's all they do) or did they plan to get caught out to let people know they're still happily in Hollywood love?

Hmmm.

Decisions...

Answer:

Carbs AND cardio, every time!!!  The universe is all about balance.

As part of my resolution to be kinder to myself, I'm going to woman up and book some training sessions - not sure if there's really a bikini season in Sweden, but I'm gonna get cute for it just in case.

Oh wait, who do I have to call again to train... crap.  No, it will be good!  He's just a really good trainer and sweet guy!  Am a grown up fully in charge of her emotions and hormones and am just looking to get fit and cute.


I'm actually blushing a little bit I posted that.  But I can trust you guys, right?  It's just us girls (and guys)!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Reflections

On a sunny spring evening.

Man it stays light late here - already in April it's lighter later than at home in the middle of summer.  I was just told that come real summer, the sun will go down (not like in that movie in Alaska with Al Pacino), but it won't really get pitch dark at all.  Dusk all night.  I'm pretty psyched for that.  And it won't make me as crazy as Al Pacino because I, unlike him, am smart enough to have a sleep mask.  It really bugged me in that movie he never thought of that - woulda saved you a lot of trouble buddy!

Anyway.

Last Easter, we had such a normal day.  Went over to my mom's and my cousin's and their kids were around and as usual we did this weird tradition that I swear my mother made up where the kids have to roll eggs down a hill (seriously, does anyone else on earth do this?).  We exchanged chocolate eggs and had a huge lunch and had coffee out on the deck. 

And then there's this year.  In a few months, I'm not married any more, and there's tensions within my family I don't really want to go in to (not all to do with my marriage, but some) and I had an affair with a giant Swedish guy when I've been with no one but my husband for years, and I speak a tiny bit of a foreign language (well kid myself I do at least) and I have this blog which has been such a comfort and inspiration.

It was a beautiful sunny day here in Stockholm (people say it's unusual for it to be quite this nice this early, but I chose not to hear them) and I sat out on my balcony and I read a book.  My guilty pleasure is the True Blood books (I call them literary popcorn... no real good for you but sometimes they just hit the spot) and I didn't even realize that the new one came out until I happened to notice it in the English-speaking section of a bookstore.  So I sat out and read and felt the sun on my skin and watched the world go by below me, and it was cool.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You Don't Know Someone Until...

... you have walked a mile in their shoes, or so they say.  Well a mile would take a really long time and probably not be all that interesting, but because a lot of people seem to be really interested in life in Södermalm, I thought it would be fun/weird/cool if you could walk a block in my shoes.

Well not necessary my shoes (though if you want to put on super cute lilac sneakers that just arrived before you click then don't let me stop you!) but... well anyway... just watch the darn video!!!

video

Sorry I'm not the greatest camera person, but I will try to get better!!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The crazy version of things

A lot of people have been reading this blog a while.

Can I ask you one thing?

Do I seem crazy to you?  Do I seem mentally unhinged or unstable or flat out lost my marbles?  I get mad, sure, I don't think I ever denied that but I think I had a right when what happened happened, no?  I like my gossip and celebrities, sure, but does anyone here think that my "list" is anything more than a joke?  Do you feel like you should warn the guys on it that I might be after them??  Do you?  Seriously, please tell me.

Because that's basically what the %$£&* I used to be married to is telling people.  And people who have known me a long time, are ALEGEDLY believing him.  Because I guess when your wife is kerAZY you get to go off with hot young Swedish things and people SYMPATHIZE with you and think it's a good thing that you are finally getting to have a little fun and relaxation in your life after WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH BEING MARRIED TO A CRAZY PERSON.

But can someone tell me seriously one thing that makes me crazy?  That I have too much respect for myself to put up with his %£$&$@& and I chucked him out the MINUTE I found out?  Even though people here advised me to consider giving him another chance I knew that he had blown all trust and respect between us and I AM BETTER THAN THAT.  Okay fine the balcony scene was a little out there when I locked him out the apartment BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME?!?!  And more than that, WAS I THE ONLY PERSON A PART OF THAT SITUATION??

Apparently so.  Apparently the guy whose been flirting it up at parties with desperate wannabe actresses and whatnot and moved in with his SECRETARY (he can't even be ORIGINAL!!!) is a terrible victim in all this and PEOPLE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.  MY EX FRIEND came over to bring me back home FOR MY OWN GOOD.  Because I can't cope I guess, being crazy and all.  Do I seem to any of you I can't cope?  Because everyone in the world would be totally fine and immediately confident moving to a new country where they SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE and also their husband leaving them?  I'm weird because I had a few little wobbles over that? 

And the fact that I thought it was a little bit cool we were having lunch near a true to life movie star makes me even more whacko.  I guess I am retreating into a fantasy life to deny the reality of what is happening to me.  I guess I am!  I guess I SERIOUSLY think that a MOVIE STAR is FOLLOWING me around his neighborhood tyring to get me to marry his son!!  I guess I seriously meant that and it wasn't a JOKE which people tell sometimes because it's fUNY.  It's not exactly my fault they took out her sense of humor along with all the fat in her thighs!  Guess those lipo machines go a little out of control sometimes N'EST PAS?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Weirdness

I mentioned that I had lunch with a friend on Saturday.  What I really should have said is, I had lunch with a "friend" on Saturday.

Because she's his friend.

And as lunch went on, I realized that she was most definitely not my friend.  Here's what happened:

Friday, I get a call.  "Heeeeeeeey [OhioGirl], guess who?  I'm in Stockholm!"  And I'm like really.  Why?  Because, you need to know that right away, I did not trust this.  This girl, was my friend once upon a time ago a million years ago, then I started dating him, and suddenly she was his friend.  They work in the same industry, so every time we had dinner parties or whatever, they would be locked deep in conversation about they people they knew and stuff.  Not like that, I don't mean anything was going on, just that they were all - oh we're work colleagues, talking about work, you know, important stuff not like the neighborhood gossip you are blathering on about.  Because you know, discussing who is sleeping with who in an office is totally different to discussing who is sleeping with who in a neighborhood.  Way more intellectual.

So when she called, little warning antennas went up, but then I was like, it was all a long time ago, and she did call me, and it would be really nice to talk to another American and somebody from home... and okay, I am a teensy bit curious about the gossip from home about what happened with the Ex and me - I know it's got to be huge and it won't be good for me to hear but I want to anyway.

She wanted to meet for lunch someplace near her (fancy) hotel, but I was like, no, you come to my turf.  Which she agreed to.  Another warning bell.

I felt like I was going into battle.  People round here are pretty casual.  Funky casual, but I can't pull that off so I just go with casual.  I started out when we got here keeping up my usual regime of roots/nails/facials then realized that it wasn't the done thing (once Erik made some comment about how it was funny his little sister wears make up all the time, like it was unusual and weird), so I decided to be natural and Swedish (don't panic though, I still wear clothes!).  But to see Ms X I had to be in full on groomed mode.  I felt like a farmer preparing fields for planting because after all this time, a combine harvester was practically needed.

But we got there, and for once Swedish weather cooperated with me and I met her at this cool bar out in the sunshine and of course a Hollywood star was a few tables away, so I was like - yeah, this is my life now, you make sure everybody back home knows about it.

She didn't know we split up.  What the eff?

She was all like, so where's [Ex] today?  Me... uhh, at his new girlfriend's I guess.

I asked the close people I told not to spread it around, but I a) didn't think they would, and b) didn't think he would keep it a secret.

But nobody knows.  At least, according to her, nobody knows.  Something's up.

There's more, but I have to digest it a little before I can share.  It's all very weird and effed up.  OhioGirl is on her guard.

World's Worst Paparazzi

I know I'm on the lookout for a new job right now, but I think it's safe to say we can rule this one out!  I went to lunch with a friend who was visiting from the US (have to share something about that later, but I'll do the good stuff first) and guess who was a few tables away from me - my old buddy Stellan!  Seriously, it's getting awkward.  I mean, dude, if you want me to marry your son you need come out and ask and stop just following me around ;-)

Okay, dude in black shirt walked past just as I was taking photo.  That's not my fault.

The top of his head.  Ummm... look carefully.

A clear shot!  Kinda.  Should have zoomed in some more, but... well... I didn't.

So anyway.  I can finally prove I saw him and not have weirdos emailing me to say I'm fantasizing my own neighbor.  I mean seriously!  If I was going to fantasize a meeting with that family, it would not be him (sorry, sure he's very nice and all) and there would not be so many people between us... or so many clothes................................. sorry got distracted there.

Actually, the main reason the photos are so bad is that I was really conscious of not bothering him or making it obvious - I mean, dude gets to enjoy Saturday lunch like anybody else, right?  I walked past him when we left and could have got an awesome close up, but he probably would have seen me then and that would a) not have been fair on him and b) I'm a little scared of him.  Somebody with that many kids is going to have a lot of experience in chastizing, right?!  But most importantly, it's just not really the done thing here and I totally respect that.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

A public service announcement

Dear Hollywood,
Us gossip fans are not as stupid as you think we are.  We read the &%$^* you spew out to us and we can smell when it stinks of, ahem, natural fertilizer!  Has there ever been a fauxmance that half the world hasn't called out? 



Random engagement rumors two minutes after they started dating!  Weird body language poses that look like monkeys grooming each other rather than regular people into each other!  "Anonymous insider" observations that she is the hottest sh*t on the planet and he is so into her and she gets hit on everywhere she goes (umm, even if that's true, think a little thing like SHE'S A FAMOUS ACTRESS might have something to do with it?)!  We see through this stuff and it makes us LESS interested in your clients not MORE!

We like to follow actors and artists that we RESPECT.  Who have INTEGRITY and HONESTY.  Or are at least good enough actors to pull off seeming to be in love with someone.  If you have to do this, do better at it!  But don't do it. 

K thanks.

OhioGirl

It's Thursday

Meeting with the ex today with lawyers and lawyers dialing in from the US.  Fun! Fun! Fun!  It's not even Friday.  Sorry for putting that song in your head, but misery loves company.
Am hearing a rumor my rockstar crush is a pr plant - I'm not one of those bloggers, sorry!  Seriously, what is with the world when people are so cynical?   Some things are real and regular... conspiracy theoryists chill the eff out!  I'm just a music fan!!!!

Kinda bored of him seeing as I haven't been able to find anything else out.

Erik will be here in a little while to chase me up some hills so better go get dressed!  The Swedes may be chilled with nakedness, but not sure they're ready for me jiggling and wobbling around the streets of Södermalm before they've had lunch...

Monday, April 11, 2011

Things That Suck

... not about Sweden but in life!

1.  Movies that aren't as good as you thought especially if you were looking forward to them
2.  Clothes that mysteriously shrink when you have been avoiding working out because of a awkward situation with your trainer and also eating a lot of chocolate.  Thinking of suing clothes manufacturers.
3.  Rockstars that disappear like Cinderella and don't even leave their shoe behind for you to try to find them
4.  Men that don't make sense.  So, men.
5.  People that don't forget stuff from a million years ago - get over it!
6.  People who decide you are insulting them or being mean even when it's all in their head and you weren't even paying attention to them
7.  Unreasonable ex husbands and the lawyers that won't let you shoot them
8.  People who think they are a lot more interesting/special than they are
9.  Fake people
10.Recipes that don't work out even when you followed them perfectly

The List...

So badly needing updating!

A little young and cutsey, but doncha just want to pinch those cheeks?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Celebs in my Neighborhood!!

OMG I just saw Stellan again! At least, I'm like 99% sure, I was walking pretty fast and there was no way to slow down to get more than a passing glance at him without being super obviously rubbernecking! The stupid thing is, I was planning on going to the place where I saw him to sit out in the sun and have me a glass of wine (don't want to say where, I don't know whose reading this so don't want a hoard of people running down there because of me!!) but when I saw him I panicked and kept walking in case he thought I was just going in there because of him (even though I'm pretty sure he didn't see me) and now I'm home with no wine! Oh well.

 He was wearing aviator sunglasses, and looked pretty Hollywood, even though he was talking to a little dude (his little dude?  Can't he sure) which was also cute!!!!!!!

Tempting... tempting.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Stop the World I Want to Get Off

I think it's raining outside.  It looks like it is, and it's rained a little most days, so I'm gonna go ahead and assume that it is.


Or maybe I just feel it's raining in my heart because it is.  Not for any particular reason, just... every inparticular reason.  I'm heart-tired today.  I just want to be home and married again and everything regular and cozy.  I guess I didn't know how nice and easy and warm that life was, until now it's gone and it's too late.  I know I did what I had to do, it's not that I'm regretting, I'm just wishing it could all be magiced away for a little while.

It's kind of exhausting living in a country where you don't know what people are saying a lot of the time.  I mean, sometimes it's fun and cool and exciting, and sometimes it's just... I want to be able to pass somebody in the street and say 'hey how's it going' without feeling like an asshole for being that American who doesn't bother to talk their language.  Or sometimes, I'm in a coffee shop or whatever and the people in the line behind me are talking away and I'm like... are they talking about me?  And probably they aren't, because why would they be?  But they could be and it just makes me feel really sad and lonely.

Just for a moment, because I'm tougher than that.  I'm strong and independent and I'm doing the right thing starting a brand new life and it's going to be awesome, I just want a little breather.  Because today I'm sleepy.  I'm gonna curl up and watch bad reality tv and judge people who are prettier than me.  Then I'll go back and face the world tomorrow.

Oh Yeah

The open mike night I was going to go back to?

Damn, I hate to admit this... but I chickened out.  Yeah I know!  I was so set to go, but then... I dunno.  I was kind of intimidated by the Sarcastic Bartender Chicky, and even though I'm pretty tough and brave, going to a bar at night by myself was just a little bit step too far. 

Plus... okay this is going to sound kind of crazy, so can we keep it just between us m'kay?

I was a little scared to see him again.  I mean.  I have had SO much disappointment in my life lately, and he was just so awesome and perfect and mind-blowing, and I just wanted to keep that impression a little while, just for me.  You know?

I WILL track him down again, and I WILL NOT be disappointed, but I just wasn't in a place where I wanted to take a risk.  I don't know if staying in and watching TV in a bad mood is truly being kind to myself, but it is what needed to happen that night. 

But this is another week... we'll see how I feel.

Mystery Man a little longer...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Last time on Tales of Södermalm... !

OhioGirl was dating/flinging/something with her trainer Erik, keeping her head held high and being strong in the wake of the betrayal of her husband, and generally starting an awesome new life here in Sweden.

This week...

Well.  The Erik thing kind of fizzled.  Rebounds always do I guess, and really, that's all he was.  I mean - hot.  Tall.  Funny, kinda, sometimes.  But seriously?  Sometimes you could hear the whistle of the wind between his ears, yaknowwhatImean?  And... okay, the whole alpha male thing maybe didn't work out so good for me with my marriage, because alpha males sometimes go off and fling with twinkies, but... I'm not exactly ready for a beta male.  I need a man, you know?  Unfortunately, I read an article about how those are an endangered species in Sweden, so that sucks.

         


Well Mystery Rockstar is a man, for sure, and I'm pretty sure Swedish.  But, it's not like my standards are super high or anything, but I definitely need a man whose name I know, or where to find him.  I don't see myself as high maintenance or anything, but those are non-negotiable.


New life?  Yeah, happening.  Slowly but surely.  Luckily things fizzled with Erik in such a way that we've been able to keep training (that's a plus side of a non complicated guy), so still getting my ass busted regularly which is almost starting to be fun now you don't get an ice cream headache just by going outside and breathing.  Work irons are in fire, little bit complicated visa wise, but it's just a case of fixing it.  And everything can be fixed!

Sun Party

Here is an upside of the long, dark, cold-doesn't-even-begin-to-cut-it-and-I'm-from-Ohio winter: when the sun starts to peek out in the spring, it's party time.

The last few weeks when I have been grocery shopping or running (more on that later) or rockstar detectiving (more on that later), I've been thinking that there is some kind of street party going on in Medborgarplatsen.   Because it's been chock full of people just hanging out, even on weekdays.  I'm an outdoorsy girl and I can totally understand that feeling of, omygoditssunnygetoutside!, so it's fun to see everybody else do that!

Because it's everybody.  Teenagers hanging about in packs, moms with pushchairs, old men (one smoking one of those long curvy pipes, another playing a guitar... I think they live there actually) quite a few younger men who are quite easy on the old eyes! 

Apparently Medborgarplatsen means "Civic Square" so I guess that makes sense.  It definitely makes grocery shopping more fun!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I Didn't Fall off a Cliff!

Hey everybody - so sorry I've been neglecting this blog the past few days - busy busy busy!  Big stuff to update, so stand by... !

Thank you so much for all the messages asking if I was okay - you guys rock big time!  Sorry I haven't been able to reply to emails, but you'll understand why soon...! xoxoxoxoxox

Thursday, March 31, 2011

So where were we...

Oh yeah...

I get into the bar, and am right away confronted by the kind of Södermalm people that just make the whole world seem really uncool.  The kind of people I want to run up to and shout 'so what if I like sneakers - they're comfortable!  And I wear colors sometimes!  Sue me!'.  But usually I don't, because they're also about 8 feet tall (and in those crazy biker boot things they wear, probably nearly 9) so they're kind of intimidating.

So I mostly wanted to turn and run away, but I'd come this far so I gritted my teeth and approached the bar.  There's a guy and a girl - both have about the same length hair and the same amount of make up and piercings as each other.  And his jeans were so tight a doctor could have checked his boy bits for lumps just by eye-balling the jeans, and I realized I have more fat in my right arm than in her entire body so that was great too.

I asked them if they spoke English, and they were like 'of course'.  Of course!  Well okay, but you probably would have treated me like a a-hole if I just started talking English to you, so I think it's polite to check so don't give me a hard time, okay?  I ploughed on.

I described the Rockstar as best  I could, and they exchanged looks (way, way) over my head that I didn't need to speak Swedish to know that they were thinking not so complimentary things about this crazy fangirl American.  Then they shrugged in that elegant Swedish way and said that it could be about 8 people who play regularly, but there was another open mike night this Thursday which I was welcome to come to.  I drew up the last of my pride and courage and thanked them, and said I would see them then.  The girl said she couldn't wait.  I may be American, but I know sarcasm, you skinny pierced *&^$£^^£. 

So anyway.  Thursday it is.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Fangirl

After the events of this afternoon I was a leeeeetle wee bit afraid this was who I had become.  But then I found this:


Phew.  Am waaaaaay older than the defined age range, and also the Rockstar is a real person who exists.  And I'm not exactly known for shrieking, like a bat or even not like a bad.  So we're good.

Could somebody tell the staff at the bar that please?  *cringing*

Like I said before, I am a music fan first and foremost.  I don't want to run after this guy shrieking, I could give a you-know-what who he's dating or maybe dating or what he eats for breakfast or what color his underwear is, seriously.  But I would kind of like to know his name! 

So I went to the bar where we saw the open mike night.  It was one of those shadowy areas of Södermalm where I can believe what Erik tells me about it being scummy not so long ago.  It gets kind of narrow and steep so there's no open spaces to see much more than a block in front of you, and there's goth kids smoking in doorways (you can so see how the character Salander was supposed to grow up here) and you wouldn't be all that surprised if a vampire was around or something.   Anyway.

I found the bar again all by myself (*high fives self* *realize look like crazy person... clapping*), and even though it wasn't properly open yet because it was still afternoon, but they were getting a delivery of beer or something, so the doors were open.  So I just popped in to have a little look-see.

I thought maybe there would be a poster or something so I'd recognize the guy, get the info I needed and be on my merry way.  But of course there wasn't!  So I slip down these rickety stairs (guess people don't sue for health and safety stuff too much in places like t his!!) and find myself in this little dark, not literally smoky but has that feel, bar. 

It was light out of course because it was day so didn't have quite the atmosphere and you could see it was little dingier than I remembered, but still... I got a little frisson of excitement.  Because I knew he'd been here.

Detectiving...

Unfortunately my "friend" doesn't remember the Rockstar - men!  He calls himself a music fan!  So I need to do a little detectiving to find out more... he's got to be playing again soon, I definitely need to check him out!

His music is kind of bluesy dance rock, like more Rolling Stones than Oasis, you know - really smart and driving and S E X Y.  The kind of music you'd play if you wanted to seduce somebody on a sweaty summer's night and never learn their name... you know that kind of music?

I can't even believe I just posted that !  *blushing*

I can't even remember exactly what he looks like, I just remember this mass of charisma on this tiny stage in a crappy underground bar.

Think I might a walk by that bar and see if the staff know anything... that's not too crazy... right???

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Stuff...

I feel a teensy bit stupid about this, but I don't actually know the guy's name (YET)!  It was a open mike night, I went with a "friend" of mine who wanted to show off hometown live music, so I was a leeeeeetle distracted until the Rockstar came on and blew me away... then I was a leeeeetle distracted from my "friend" - argh how do I get myself in these complicated situations!  But it's all fun.  I haven't had so much fun in a while!

It's springtime here in Stockholm (Rain?  What rain?  I know nothing about no stinkin' rain!!) and it's so beautiful and it feels like the right time of year to be starting a new life, you know?  I wonder if the sh*t had gone down with that dude I was once married to in November or something, I would have just sat around quietly on my hands waiting for spring to start fresh - because it really feels right.  Luckily for everybody, it happened when it did. 

18 billion years ago, I was a cheerleader (yeah, yeah, I was *that* girl - I own it!) and we used to get drilled on our routines down to the last second (this is the bit that we never get credit for - everybody sees the cute outfits and the lip gloss and thinks that's all we are, it's an athletic sport I can tell you!).  Anyway, the coach always used to preach timing, timing, timing - if you were a second out, you or your teammate could fall on their face.  So maybe something of that timing I learned got drilled into me, and I even managed to end my marriage at the right time!


Talking of which, there is a rumor going around that it was his decision not mine to end things - just to make it really clear, I threw him out.  Period.  I don't know where weird internet haters with nothing better to do get their intel, but he did not leave me.  His actions made me do it sure, but I heard his begging and anybody who says different can go do something I'm to polite to post here on my blog.  Were you there?  I don't think so.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Update

So I haven't been posting much about the D I V O R C E because not a whole lot is happening.  My lawyer is talking to his lawyer and I'm mostly trying not to think about it.  Because it's damn sad and sucky and horrible and, like I keep saying, I'm all about being positive.  I had to take a stand against stuff I just wasn't going to put up with but still.  I married the guy for life at least I thought I did.  But anyway, he wasn't who I thought he was so I guess I married somebody for life who doesn't exist.


You know what I always wondered about this song?  Why she spells the kid's name out.  I mean, he probably knows his own name.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

The guy

Don't panic every body, I haven't gone crazy!

I just went to check out an open mike night with a friend, and one of the artists there blew me away and maybe I got a little hot and bothered for a minute!  But seriously, it was about the music.  And rock music is all about the s-e-x, amiright?  So they are closely interlinked and I don't deny having a little moment, but mostly I just thought wow - I've seen a new stadium star.  And that really excites me, you know?   As a real music fan, actually being present at the birth of an artist that is going to dominate the world  (uhh, not his actual birth, that would be weird and I imagine his mom wouldn't appreciate a random American popping into the hospital and being like 'hey!  big fan!  mind if I watch?).  This guy has more passion and talent in his little finger that most of who I see on MTV these days and I am super psyched that I'm getting to be there at the beginning.

Already searching for more deets on who this guy is and where he's playing next, so keep posted!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

More proof Swedish people are different

So I'm hearing about how at certain special parties in the summer, you have to sing a song about the drink before you drink it.

They're even organized enough to have song books and song sheets about the liquor songs. 

Can you imagine any Americans holding off on a drink to get the song sheet out and have a little tune?  We're more of a down it now, sing about it later kind of people.

The List

Okay, I don't have a picture of this guy, so I need to describe him.

Hot.



That's basically it.  Not even that handsome, exactly, more... hotter than that, if that makes sense.  Just... makes me think things a grown up woman probably shouldn't be thinking.  Or blushing.  Or drooling.  Damn.

He's a musician. I know, I know!  been there and got the T shirt, but it's not like I'm actually going to go there ever.  Way too much on my plate thank you, and I already have a guy that's complicated enough.  Oh and, do I vaguely remember something about an a-hole ex?  Just vaguely, a distant memory that doesn't mean anything even if he's shacking up with the twinky (when did I get old and bitter enough to say things like twinky?  Seriously!  But if you could see her, you would know what I mean.  anyway)

But he's pretty to look at when I go to "appreciate the music".  Support the arts.  Rock fans make the world go round.  Or something.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

On a happier note...

I love this guy.  It's reasons like this I'm staying Sweden!


Funny drunk TV presenters.  What?  It's a reason! 

Not the only one... ;-)

Don't think So

So I'm just gonna come out and say this.

This blog is a POSITIVE place for POSITIVE people.  Yeah, I put my life out there but I don't judge anybody and I expect the same RESPECT back.  If you're somebody that wants to judge and pick holes in the life of a stranger you don't even know, well okay, but don't come back here because we don't want you.  You don't know anything about me, but I can tell a lot about you from how you think and what you put out into the world.  And don't think I don't know who you are because I'm a lot of things but I aint dumb.

I never deleted a comment before and I hope I don't have to again, but like I said this is a POSITIVE place and it's gonna stay that way.

You reap what you sow, just remember that.

Ska vi gå fitta?

*sigh*

This language is tough to keep straight.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Girls girls girls

Okay, I wouldn't really call myself a feminist.  I mean, I like to shave (well not like it's an activity I look forward to, but you know what I mean) and I do like men even if not always the ones in my life right at this second and even though I get angry sometimes it's usually about something specific not just generally being angry all the time.

But sometimes, I really despair for young women today.  It's not even like I'm all that old, but they seem to have changed, you know?  Or is it just me?  When I was in school, it was all about being all you can be (though not necessarily joining the army) and having a career that didn't depend on men and whatnot, and this new generation just seem so... silly.  Okay, I went into entertainment a little bit myself (and might be again) but that was still having a job on my own merits that could be tough sometimes, not floating around "modelling" and going to parties and being defined by their love life.  It's just depressing.

Is this what feminism was about?  For young women to have the choice to seem like they're not really all there and call it empowerment?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Good Moron

Which I guess is better than being a bad moron, right?

It's crazy the little things that get you about not really understanding the language around you.  I'm trying to learn, and I am picking up little things, like how to ask for coffee or say 'excuse me' (even though I'm about the only person in Stockholm that uses the second one, they don't seem to consider knocking into somebody something worthy of acknowledgment).  Problem is, if I manage to ask for the coffee semi correctly, the person comes to the conclusion that I speak some Swedish and asks if I want cream or tells me how much it is in Swedish and I'm like "... what now?"  But anyway, baby steps.

What's funny though, is that there's some words that sound like English but mean something totally different.  Or even just a little bit different, enough to be a little bit funny.  Like, the word "lång" means tall.  But if a certain personal trainer tells me that he's really long, I'm not the only one to blush and get the giggles, right... ?  Or if someone yells 'stop' which is "sluta", certain American gals with very high morals might get a a little offended!

Or, 'good morning' is "god morgon" (uhh, yeah, you don't need to know who said good morning to me... right?) but sounds like "good moron", which, like I said, is better than a bad moron...

Monday, March 21, 2011

The people asked...

Okay, one commenter asked, but maybe other people wondered!

Erik.

Man, I don't know.  There is something there, we both know it and sometimes it really flickers to life but then he goes weird or I realize this is more than I can handle so it kind of dwindles down until we see each other the next time and it's like, damn.  You are hot.

Imagine in sweats and kind of longer, messier hair and even more adorkable because he's not a hot actor who has to know how hot he is, but a real regular Södermalm guy who really doesn't seem to have any clue.
I'm getting the impression that he has those regular hot guy issues with women/commitment, and doesn't really know if he's coming or going, so it's not that he doesn't like me (that's clear enough) but it might come down to me not really having the patience to deal with this kind of adolescent shit.  Maybe it's a Swedish thing or just a dating thing and it's been so long I've forgotten, but I'm just like, can we be grown ups here a little bit?

So it's not not happening, but it's up in the air how much it's happening.

Clear?  Good.  Could somebody explain it to me, please?

Tubes Glorious Tubes

Was in the grocery store today (it's bad that I've discovered another one closer to my apartment but I still like the one I saw Stellan Skarsgård in 'cause it's cool... it's Grocery Shopping with the Stars), and I was standing there holding a tube of something and my Swedish dictionary, trying to figure out what the heck it was. 

 Now, in other countries, there's a limit to what foodstuffs are likely to be found in a tube, right?  It's going to be some sort of condiment... right?  Wrong.  I swear you could make an entire meal in Sweden just by squirting stuff onto your plate.

I have some cousins in the Pacific Northwest, and I once described their personal style as "always ready for unexpected hiking".  Swedish food is kind of "always ready for an unexpected trip to space".

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Don't forget your helmet

Okay this just cracks me up.  Does anybody else get a mental picture of a bunch of huge guys with spears and horn helmets and whatnot lining up with their passports and tickets... just me?