Friday, February 18, 2011

I finally saw Eric today.  Aside from contacting him to pay him yesterday, I've been putting it off.  I had this stupid idea that if I left the apartment *he* could get back in and lock ME out so I've just been sitting around looking out the window and wandering around thinking.  Over that!  So I called yesterday and asked him to come for our regular appointment today.

He's not stupid.  He knew stuff was up.  But he sensed I didn't want to talk, so just acted like everything was normal and talked about this and that like he always does, but looked at me with these really caring concerned eyes which was actually kind of hard to take. 

So we went running.  And the cold felt good.  Eric is tough, he seriously whips my ass every time and that felt good too.  Physical pain for a change, you know.  Except then suddenly it got too much and I pretty much sat down in the street and cried.  The poor guy!  Men don't do emotions and Swedish people don't do emotions so you can kind of guess how a Swedish man handled a woman he doesn't really know that well suddenly becoming a soggy mess of pain.  He kind of petted my shoulder a little bit.  And told a really bad joke about a time traveler which I didn't really get but for once I didn't care about feeling stupid.

Then it was like all the crap was let out and I was okay again.  I just got up and carried on and he was so relieved I think he nearly cried!

Then we got back to the apartment, and something weird happened.  I don't even know how to describe it and I am NOT the kind of woman who jumps from one man's bed into another's and there was definitely no bed stuff in the middle of the street when it is minus 8.  But.  There was a moment, and a touch that might have been an accident but I think we all know it wasn't. 

Crap.  I don't want to hurt the guy, but I don't know if I'm ready for this.  I was married TWO DAYS ago.  I'm not going to mope around for the rest of my life, but I'll maybe take the weekend, you know?  Or will that mean missing my chance on a damned hot sorbet?

9 comments:

Shrl said...

oh dear - big mistake! You've just made your complicated life even more complicated now! I would take a couple of weeks to slow down and reflect as it sounds like you're life is getting out of control! Good luck

Kalas Lotta said...

Agree, easy easy.

OhioGirl said...

I didn't do anything, I swear! I just... could have. Maybe. And it was mostly him...

Didn't I tell you guys what Eric looks like... some mistakes are just worth it!

That I haven't made. Yet. Or will. Probably. Arrrghhh!

D said...

If he is worth it he will wait for you. Close one book before opening another. You would be doing it for revenge.

Jessica said...

Completely agree with what D said.

OhioGirl said...

Oh sensible friends you're killing me here! *pouting*

I don't want a relationship with him... if ya know what I mean... can't I have a little fun pretty please? ;-)

d said...

yea, but then you might not be able to work out with him anymore.

OhioGirl said...

Meh, I could always get one of those machines that give you electric shocks while you watch TV...

BB13 said...

I'll be probably alone with my opinion here but I think you should have fun. If you make it clear beforehand with him there could be a lot of fun be involved. I would even go so far to say Swedish men are more relaxed about stuff like that but I'm not sure.
Now my weird psychology approach. It may could even help you forgive your husband because he had fun you had fun, you know.