He called last night about a hundred and twenty times. I didn't answer. I felt like I was in high school again, you know when you would screen the call and let all your friends hear and know the guy was sweating? Except I didn't have any friends to hear, but I knew the guy was sweating so it was good enough. He doesn't get the concept of one strike and you're out, he was all wanting to talk and explain (explain what? I know how it works! My mom bought me a book when I was 10!) and we can't leave things like this and I'm his world and he was so stupid and he'll never forgive himself and he's cracking up and he's not with her (he even tried denying there was a her - moron!) he's in a hotel on his own just thinking about me and freaking out. Whatever.
You don't mess with me. I warned him. You think I didn't know his reputation when he followed me around for months begging me for a chance? You think I didn't tell him that I wasn't like the skanks he usually dated and if he didn't treat me like I deserve every second for the rest of my life he was G O N E? Don't say nobody warned you buddy. Nobody takes me for a fool, not ever.
It was an accident, he said. I'm sorry what? Going by that book my mom got me, I don't think that's something you can really do without meaning to. Like Rachel said in Friends, were you trying to put it in her purse? Or in a bunch of purses. Because I've been doing a little nosing around. Say goodbye to your money and your property and the best thing that ever happened to you, buddy. Hope they were all worth it! Have a good day!