The way I was

It was one of those moments where you kind of have an out of body experience and look down at yourself and think, damn I wish I was her. Oh wait, I am! You know how, sometimes when you think of some event that you're really looking forward to like a party or a date, you kind of do a dress rehearsal in your mind and you think, maybe this will happen or that will happen, but even so, you know it probably won't?

I'd been to a million gigs before, I was serious rock chick chicky so of course I'd played out a little fun fantasy in my mind like maybe I'll slip outside before the show for a breath of fresh air and I'll be standing there looking cool and independent on my own and I'll be half a foot taller and a bunch of pounds skinnier and I'll be wearing those boots I tried to buy and my card got declined because in this world, my card doesn't get declined. I'll just so happen to walk by the stage door because it's nearby and he'll come out for a smoke or something and he'll see me and ask if I'm going to the show and I'll be like, oh yeah, my girlfriend is a really big fan and he'll ask, what about you? And I'll laugh casually and say that the band is okay. Then he'll laugh with that growly, rockstar laugh he has and suggest my girlfriend and I come by for a drink at his hotel later and I'll be like, sure, I'll see what our plans are.

When it happened, it didn't happen anything like that. My girlfriend flirted with security who told us what hotel they were staying at and we convinced ourselves that it was probably the best place to go for a drink anyway. But when we got there, he did look at me, with the same look as in my fantasy. Which, okay, is the same look from about eight of their videos, but it's a whole nother ball game when it's for you. We were talking to the security guy who invited us and he wandered over and interrupted the conversation because he gets to do that, and asked us if we enjoyed the show. And I wasn't cool or 'whatever', I basically leaped up and down and told him it was the best show ever ever in the world of all time. But he laughed. Then he leaned down and told me his room number.

Not romantic, no. But hot.

I don't really know why I'm thinking about all that today, except that rollercoaster, out of body, bungee jumping feeling seems to be my regular state these days.

Oh yeah. And Eric kissed me.