He ambushed me. How could I be so stupid? It was a trap, sheer and simple. It was him and two - TWO! - lawyers sitting waiting for me with documents to sign that basically mean I would get nothing out of this divorce. Because that's what it is - HE is filing for divorce from ME! Because I guess he is the wronged party here?!!???!!!! How could I have thought it was about reconcilliation? I was sure that's what the secretary said but when I said that he said no way then later admitted maybe she got mixed up so now I don't even know if I heard the right thing of if I am going crazy or what. All I know is that he tried to blindside me and it was a BIG MISTAKE. How stupid does he think I am? Oh yeah, he thinks I'm stupid enough to not notice or care that he has been CHEATING on me with god knows how many skanks for a REALLY LONG TIME and I'm just supposed to wish him good luck with the rest of his life? Yeah right!! I was an independent woman when I married him making good money in a upward career and HE wanted me to be a homemaker and I AGREED and now he is suggesting I contributed nothing to the marriage? Nothing except taking care of you because you are INCOMPETANT in every basic way, A-HOLE! Let's see how well he does remembering any appointments, ever, or remembering to pay bills (he has the money, he's just a moron) or knowing what a vegetable is never mind eating one or how long it takes him to go broke buying new underwear every week because he doesn't know how to work a washing machine. This could have been adult, and friendly and mature and HE screwed that up, big time.
I was going to give him another chance. Damn damn damn what was I thinking? I walked across to where his office is and I thought and thought and I just wanted all this to go away again and I made up my mind that if he said the right things, I would listen. And instead he did this to me. I couldn't even cry because those two freaking lawyers were sitting there looking at me like I was crazy or something because I got a little upset at being treated like a problem kid or something. I couldn't even find the words to speak to start with I just stared at them all. He is a stranger to me. I once read this magazine article about a woman who got an operation and she woke up but because they gave her muscle relaxants or something she couldn't move to tell them she was awake and she felt every thing while the surgeons cut her open and took out her appendix or something. That is literally how I feel now. Like surgeons are cutting me open and removing things and the pain is so indescribable that I can't even scream.
5 comments:
you didn't sign anything, right?
Go get yourself a couple lawyers yourself.
Really? You were considering reconciling with him? You seemed like you were done. I can understand though...
I'm really sorry you are going through this and it has to be even tougher without your family or close friends around.
Take care,
d
I think it is time to get some legal advice, especially some pertaining to where you go married, I am assuming it was in the states, so make sure it is someone who can help from that angle. Gather all evidence too.
Be smart. And most of all try to be happy throughout all this, in the moments when you don't need to think about it, find something better to think about, maybe that hot trainer! I think its pretty important for your sanity to be able to separate all that drama from the rest of your life. Otherwise you will burn out. You know we are here if you need to rant or just a chat.
G xo
I'm sorry this happened to you, but I can't say it's all that surprising. The end of the relationship seemed pretty acrimonious and if he's insisting that he did nothing wrong, then it's not surprising at all that he's wanting to avoid alimony or splitting assets etc. There's just a huge disconnect with him, it seems. Frankly though if he's acting this way, it isn't a very good idea to start a romantic relationship with someone else, or even for there to be the appearance of one. He could easily claim "alienation of affection" or something, and it would be hard to prove otherwise. If he finds out that you & Eric are in the early stages of hooking up, he's gonna be pissed. Didn't you say you paid Eric 6 mos in advance, out of your husband's account? That won't go over so well if he could spin it so it seems you threw him out of his apt to pursue a romance with the trainer that he's paying for.
Now's the time to be smart; just be level headed, get an attorney and do what it takes to free yourself of this guy, so you can move on and not have it come back to bite you in the ass.
Really sorry to hear your news, what a cunning bas***d! I haven't lived in Sweden for ages, but I'm pretty sure he wont have to pay you any alimony. Swedish courts treat men and women equally and women are supposed to support themselves financially. Also we don't blame one partner for the divorce, the court wont pay any regards to his infidelity I think. They probably wont take any notice of you giving up your career either, since again Swedish women don't really stay at home, they support themselves... It's really cunning of him to file for divorce in Sweden before you'd do it in the States, where the courts would treat you much more favourably. You need to get some legal advice pretty quickly. Good luck! x
Agree with all the above. Get yourself a lawyer quick. I don't much about Swedish law but I have read a few things in the past, as to how poorly women can be treated by the Swedish legal system. I only remember because I found it so suprising. So please get legal advice asap ie don't delay, do it now. Possibly the US Consul in Stockholm could at least give you some reputable names and/or advice as your Swedish, and knowledge of Sweden, is limited due to your recent arrival in Stockholm.
On a personal level, don't sink to his depths. He is despicable and beneath contempt. It is rarely easy getting divorced and this appears to be extremely nasty already.
Whatever happens - keep a sense of self-belief and pride. Stay strong - you will get through this.
Love & virtual hugs
xx
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