He ambushed me. How could I be so stupid? It was a trap, sheer and simple. It was him and two - TWO! - lawyers sitting waiting for me with documents to sign that basically mean I would get nothing out of this divorce. Because that's what it is - HE is filing for divorce from ME! Because I guess he is the wronged party here?!!???!!!! How could I have thought it was about reconcilliation? I was sure that's what the secretary said but when I said that he said no way then later admitted maybe she got mixed up so now I don't even know if I heard the right thing of if I am going crazy or what. All I know is that he tried to blindside me and it was a BIG MISTAKE. How stupid does he think I am? Oh yeah, he thinks I'm stupid enough to not notice or care that he has been CHEATING on me with god knows how many skanks for a REALLY LONG TIME and I'm just supposed to wish him good luck with the rest of his life? Yeah right!! I was an independent woman when I married him making good money in a upward career and HE wanted me to be a homemaker and I AGREED and now he is suggesting I contributed nothing to the marriage? Nothing except taking care of you because you are INCOMPETANT in every basic way, A-HOLE! Let's see how well he does remembering any appointments, ever, or remembering to pay bills (he has the money, he's just a moron) or knowing what a vegetable is never mind eating one or how long it takes him to go broke buying new underwear every week because he doesn't know how to work a washing machine. This could have been adult, and friendly and mature and HE screwed that up, big time.
I was going to give him another chance. Damn damn damn what was I thinking? I walked across to where his office is and I thought and thought and I just wanted all this to go away again and I made up my mind that if he said the right things, I would listen. And instead he did this to me. I couldn't even cry because those two freaking lawyers were sitting there looking at me like I was crazy or something because I got a little upset at being treated like a problem kid or something. I couldn't even find the words to speak to start with I just stared at them all. He is a stranger to me. I once read this magazine article about a woman who got an operation and she woke up but because they gave her muscle relaxants or something she couldn't move to tell them she was awake and she felt every thing while the surgeons cut her open and took out her appendix or something. That is literally how I feel now. Like surgeons are cutting me open and removing things and the pain is so indescribable that I can't even scream.