The List

Seems like it could do with a little updating, no?  Well, now that I have been in Sweden over a year, I can tell you that the unrelenting beautifulness in all directions at all times does fade a little bit, because I guess you get used to anything.  After a while, it's like "oh, there's another eight foot tall viking sex god.  Now what am I going to have for dinner... "  No, I didn't think it would happen to me either, but there you have it.

So sometimes its good to sit back, take stock, and really appreciate the fine specimens of Swedish manhood that exist.

Also, this very special edition of The List, is brought to you by OhioGirl Watching Movies and TV in Swedish.  *Takes bow*  You don't need to understand Swedish in order to appreciate the view!!

So, from the movie En Gång i Phuket which I saw in a movie theater!  In Swedish! 

A cutie and funny!  I give you Peter Magnusson.

From a series I have gotten into the habit of watching on a Sunday night (it's on before Damages) and I have figured out is to do with robots but not much else...

Andreas Wilson, with a younger, Swedisher, Tom Cruise kind of vibe going on.

And finally, not that I have been watching anything Swedish of him, but it would be rude not to include an old faithful:

Don't worry sweetie!  I haven't forgotten my first Swedish love.  I may look at the others sometimes, but I am always thinking of you!!

Fredag

Which is really just regular old Friday, but I like the sound of free-day. Guess you can take the girl out of the US and all that! I guess I never realised before just how special our great constitution is to protect our right to think and say whatever we darn well please without hating and censorship. I guess I'm just a proud American! That is all I have to say about that.

After being so excited by days and days of sunshine (even if it was still pretty chilly), the last couple of days have been dull and depressing and reminding that we are still in the grips of winter for a little while yet. Winter in stockholm is just so loooooooong. I swear it has been more than just a few months since it was light and warm. I swear I've had at least two birthdays since then.

Actually I did have a birthday last week, yay me! It's not polite for a lady to tell her age, so let's just say it was a digit closer to Botox. Which actually I think I would be too scared to go through (I read it's actual poison - can anyone explain why it doesn't kill you through your skin???) but a digit closer to people smiling at me while thinking in their heads that I could use a little tweaking here and there. Although probably not so much in Sweden, you see a lot of "growing old gracefully" women here, I guess whatever floats your boat. I say whatever makes you look your best so you feel your best is a good thing. As long as it doesn't actually poison you, because there would be not much point in being hot and dead.

Just Sayin'

I know I said I was done...

... and I am I am!  But who needs an excuse to post a little Don Draper?

Don Draper Agrees With Me About Reality Stars

I knew that him and I basically agree on things.  This will be good for when we marry.

Tack

Since I decided I was going to stay here for a while (things might not have worked out like I thought, but no running home in defeat for OhioGirl!), I figured I should start to learn the language.  I mean, everyone speaks English (or at least think they do, they make more mistakes than they think but I guess I do in Swedish so its even!), but still there are times it is annoying not to know if people are talking about me, for example.

So I started taking lessons, and it's going okay.  Except, it's a REALLY frustrating language!  There are all these weird rules and strange pronounciations for things that it makes you understand why they all speak English!  I'm sticking it out because I'm not a quitter, but sometimes I really wonder why I bother.

For example, there is no word for "please".  How weird is that?  It is basic everyday courtesy and they don't even have a word for it - they say thank you.  So you would say "a coffee, thank you" instead of "a coffee, please", which doesn't sound as polite in my opinion.  And how to you teach kids their "please's and thank you's"?  You would have to teach them their "thank you's" and "thank you's"!!

And sometimes they say sentences backwards for no good reason I can see, its like the whole nation has that disease where you get words mixed up and curse for no reason.  Like, you say "now live I in Stockholm", which just sounds like you're trying to speak in Shakespeare or something (even though Shakespeare spoke English!) and should have a bugle and be like "hear ye hear ye, in the year of our lord 2012, now live I in Stockholm"!

I'm not disrespecting or anything, so please don't go crazy at me in the comments, I'm just sharing some observations as I take on this new challenge in my life.  Be I happy to live in this fair town, thank you!!

One Last Thing...

... To say about this stupid show and then I am done with it.  I'm sorry, a freaking mugging on the third day and some hot guy just happens to be right there to save her?  Whatever!  How stupid do you think we are?  If you'r going to do one of these fake soaps that pretend to be reality, you need to get someone who can act at least!

I couldn't resist taking a little peek around the website for it, what can I say I like a car crash!! And came across this: Recap.   Some stupid idiot who is clearly not capable of getting a real job so recaps bad shows for a living is slandering and and defaming me.  I think you'll find that calling someone a nutjob in a PUBLIC FORUM is illegal missy, and then to suggest that I was in some stupid liveblog with the airhead you think is worth a show being about when I have BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME?  Yeah, you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

Whatever, I am so over all this.  Why do I keep getting caught up in drama after drama?  I just want to write a little blog about my crazy life in Stockholm and haters and fantasists just keep getting obsessed with me and writing about me - stop!  Why do you give me so much power!  I am just little old me.

Who passed my aniversary in Stockholm a few weeks ago btw, and also this blog aniversary!  Should have done something about it, sorry I didn't.  Caught up in real life as usual!  So a belated happy birthday and true thanks to all the GENUINE followers and internet buddies that I have made over one topsy turvy year!!

Don't Judge Me...

... but I freaking watched it again!  I know, I know, I can feel my brain cells melt and drip out my ears by the second, but sometimes you need a little junk in your life.  Umm, I don't mean like... *blushes*... moving swiftly on.

The floozie that I guess we're all supposed to think is super cool because she has her own show wakes up - surprisingly, alone, despite the fact that we all saw her get into a cab with her friend's boyfriend (classy).  At breakfast, we meet her roomie and friend Anna.  Now Anna, I can get on board with.  She is smart and classy and ladylike - everything her buddy Frida is not.  They talk a little bit, Anna tries to make Frida understand that coming home in the wee hours and selfishly waking everybody up is Not Cool, and Frida looks bored because no one is talking about her.  Then she goes out to have coffee with her brother, who is kind of a geek and seems to be mostly wondering what a camera is, going by the dopey way he stares right into it the whole time.  Frida whines her face off, he listens and looks like a dope.  The end.  Fascinating stuff.

Honestly, this is a problem that I'm finding again and again in Sweden.  You first come here and they seem to be all intellectual and cultured and, you know, smart.  Then you realize that actually it's just their accents and they are as airheaded and vapid as anybody else.

 Anyone remember this? 

http://talesofsodermalm.blogspot.com/2011/02/and-btw-im-pretty-sure-this-is-her.html

http://talesofsodermalm.blogspot.com/2011/02/defensive-much.html

It's her. IT IS EFFINGHER. 

She has her own show. She has my husband (not any more I don't think) and she has a DOCUSOAP about how amazing she is when really she is a husband stealing wh*reb*tchsl*t. Sorry, but sometimes cursing is all that will say what you need to with the strength it needs! And she is freaking boring and stupid! Why exactly has she been given a show can anyone tell me? There has to be about 17,000 better candidates for a reality show about their life, some of which haven't stolen people's husbands probably. Like these for instance:

http://blondinbella.se/

http://rebeccafiona.blogg.se/

http://milk.freshnet.se/

So can anyone tell me one thing that is more interesting about blondie than any of these people? But they picked blondie. Approached her, so she says (though I wouldn't trust anything that twinkie has to say as far as I could throw an elephant). Is there no moral standards left in the world that people like HER become famous famewhore famoussons? Call me old fashioned but I think that there should be STANDARDS for people to get that kind of success, not that she actually has any – clearly she is yet another vapid airhead who let's just say I'm pretty sure that the producer of the show is a guy who doesn't think with the head on his shoulders, is all I'm saying.

Old friend...

 OH MY EFFING.... you will not believe what I just realized! What are you haunting me or something? Seriously? You have got to be kidding me world!

RealTales: Södermalm

What kind of ever loving hot mess was that? 

For ever and ever we have been BOMBARDED with PR about this incredible new web docu soap that is going to be amazing and innovative and unique and re write the rules of reality tv and whatnot and... some dinky famewhore in the ugliest boots I have ever seen in my life (seriously, I might not be able to get to sleep tonight after that disturbing sight) pranced around and got in a bitchfight over what I don't even know? Some dopey looking guy? Really ground breaking, we've never seen that before. 

Why cant we get docurealitywhatevers with some, I don't know, grown ups in them? I don't need to see some chicky who is about 12 and needs to eat a sandwich or eleven and grow a clue floating around like some pointless clothes horse who only comes to life when some dude looks at her. 

So yeah, I don't think I'll be watching again! Shame! Could have been good. Could have been something interesting. But instead, we got famewhore thy name is... whatever the heck her name was, I forget already.

 RealTales: Södermalm

Spring in the air!

Last night as I was walking to a date-type-thing (maybe later) I suddenly turned around and saw this and thought, I live in a pretty darn pretty town.  So often I get down on Stockholm (for good reason) that I forget it's good points.  Like:

1) All the water
2) It's getting lighter and lighter and lighter
3) The people are easy on the eye.  Weird and unsociable, but nice to look at.
4) It's clean.  Sometimes I think that little Swedish elves come out every night with mops and buckets and just sanitize the whole place.  I went to New York once and couldn't even enjoy it because all I could think of is the germs floating everywhere from all the filth.
5) Nobody bothers you, which some days is good.
6) Lots of hills (in Sodermalm anyway) which is good for the old booty
7) Candles in coffee shops.  Atmosphere and caffeine all in one!
8) The giant ships.  I dunno, they just tickle me.
9) Weird, not good, junk food in stores.  Also good for the old booty.  Now you know why Swedish people are skinny and hot!
10) Uhhh.... never running into any *ssholes from highschool or anything.  Can be good having a whole city/country/continent/hemisphere to yourself! 

Yayy Stockholm!

Cute blog

The only way to take Stockholm life is one day at a time.

http://onedayinstockholm.tumblr.com/

Sorry

...

Deleted, never happened.  Whatever.

I am great!

Sun!!

Sun today in Stockholm - actually the last couple of days, but I didn't get a chance to post until today.  It is super, crazy, cold, but bright and sunny which is one of the nicest kinds of weather I think.

Not that I have been out in it all that much because I have been spending time with Coffee Shop Man.  Which, like some commenters said, doesn't mean for sure that it's Someday and my Prince has gotten here, but he is a gentleman and knows how to treat a lady and that is not to be taken for granted in this day and age and especially in Sweden.  Like I have said many times before, of course I am a feminist, but I don't see why that means guys have to be jerks - you can respect somebody as a strong unique individual and still buy her flowers once in a while!  Fyi!

And think she is equal but don't slam the door in her face!
And like her personality AND the body she works damn hard for!
And get that she can make her own money but treat her to dinner!
And listen to her opinions and say she looks pretty!
And take care of babies and sometimes call her baby!
And respect her privacy and ask her out on a damn date!

Sheesh!

Isn't it interesting...

... how people you think you know you don't but sometimes you can predict a complete stranger exactly?  I mean, I don't believe in hocus pocus mind reading soulmates or whatnot, but sometimes you just get somebody.

Hmmmm, food for thought.

While we ponder this, here are some photos of the PATHETIC Stockholm winter so far!!

Take Your Shoes off or Die

Swedes sure do like their rules.  Which, I guess is their right like no doubt 57,000 commenters will tell me whenever I breathe a word about where I live, but really, they like a LOT of rules.  They all know them.  I think that there is some special compound where Swedish babies are taken and taught all the Rules of Life, and then they all have to go back once every three weeks to be tested to make sure they didn't forget anything.

Because, sometimes I screw up in America.  Sometimes I get in the wrong line or make a stupid joke that was funny in my head and everyone is like "woah, not appropriate" or whatever.  Because I am human and not perfect.

But, everyone in Sweden is perfect all the time.  They all know exactly what to do every single second and don't even ask questions and never interupt each other or show up at a party wearing the wrong thing.... ever.  And if anybody does screw up, they look at them like they just scraped them off their shoe.

Which is ironic, because they don't every wear their shoes inside.  I mean, in your own home is one thing I guess, but a stranger when I don't know how clean they are?  Or I'm wearing socks that aren't exactly for public consumption, and it's like, give me a break!!!

But can I even handle...

Somebody new and handsome who will be nice to me?  Maybe my problem is that I don't know how to be treated right?  I mean, I had a fairytale marriage that was for keeps and we all know how that turned out, right?  Maybe I don't know how to be happy? They always say that you have to love yourself before anybody else loves you, well I don;t have a problem getting them to love me in the first place, but what if I deep down don't love myself enough and that's why my heart gets broken over and over again?

He came over and he asked if he could sit at my table (it was pretty busy but there were other people he could have doubled up with) and took out his book to begin with. I couldn't understand the title of course but it was a thick, intellectual looking book and also he wore reading glasses which was just the dreamiest thing.  Like a hot professor (it would be even better if he was wearing tweed, but he was not) but with a warm, crinkly sexy vibe.

I was too scared to even talk to him to start with but then suddenly I looked up from my magazine and he was looking at me.

Monday Monday!!

... After a pretty amazing weekend!!! Something happened that hasn't happened to me in a long time... Get your minds out of the gutter, not that!!! Except... that was in the air. With somebody new. Somebody with no freakin baggage and history with me and already let me down (even though I know I have insanely high standards for people - I am working on it!).

I was sitting in one of my favorite coffee shops minding my own business like I always do, when I saw him. Checking me out, which you have no idea how rare it is in Sweden where the men are like scared little rabbits when it comes to real women.

Which is another thing. Before the whole world freaks out and hates and calls me names and whatnot, I have to say that I have noticed my sense of style is a little unique in this city. I am a feminist for sure (though not the hairy man hating kind) but I really don't see anything wrong with taking a little pride in my appearance and dressing like a WOMAN. You won't see me in biker boots and huge sweaters, that's for sure. I may have loved the millennium books, but I don't see lisbeth salander as a style icon like many women around here seem to.

But anyway, for whatever reason it was, I attracted a little attention.

And the he came over.

Resolutions

Okay, still in turning over new leaf first day of rest of life kind of mode today - it's been hours!!  That's a record for good intentions, right?!?

So I figure I will share some resolutions before heading out for the night (mmm... more on that later - maybe a reason for my good mood today!!!)

1) Listen to myself - seems like I usually know better when I do things that aren't a good idea...
2) Eat healthy, loose weight... blah, blah, blah
3) Have more fun and stop worrying what other people think
4) Don't take my ex husband back
5) Get divorced
6) Don't pay attention to loser haters!
7)Be happy in my own skin
8) Do a good turn every day
9) Learn Spanish
and... drumroll please... 10) Work hard AT MY NEW JOB

Woohooo!!!!  Details to follow!!!

Anybody got any resolutions to share???

Have a good evening everyone! 

p.s.

Keeping this new resolution is going to be easier said than done but GOOD VIBES and GOOD INTENTIONS are what it's all about.  So if I even think about starting to go on about whatshisname or even Tallwhatshisname then I need you all to reach into the computer and cyber slap me... I can count on you all, right?????

So anyway...

Nope, I'm not picking up where I left off  because my New Year resolutions kicked in last night at least.  I was sitting with a little glass of vino watching the snow melting out my window (seriously, global warming or what, Stockholm weather this year is crazy!!) and I just felt this whoosh of what-the-heckness and it hit me like a steam train that I am so much better than all this.

What's done is done and I can't undo it and actually I'm not so turn over a new leafish that I even want to because resolution or not some people get whats coming to them, but I don't need to think about it any more.  Somebody stick a fork in me and serve me with gravy because I am done. 

And feeling gooooooood.

OhioGirl is back in the saddle - watch out world!!!!!  Whose with me????

We interupt the dramatic depressingness to bring you...

You know, it kind of bums me out a little that however much gut spilling I do in this little blog, what is the highest searched term?

Not "amazing brave trouper dealing with life in Stockholm"

Not "witty single gal blogging in Sweden"

Not even "kind of crazy and sometimes bitchy notes from Scandinavia"

It's...

"Alexander Skarsgard's abs".  I shit you not.  Not even all of him, but specifically his abs. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'd like to make a sandwich on 'em myself, but I posted like one picture of him a year ago and still its all people care about.

But whatever, give the people what they want.  I admit he is prettier than my life...

(source: JustJared)

Like I always say...

You wouldn't like me to judge you would you (trust me you probably wouldn't), so try not to judge me.  Walk a mile in my shoes (snowboots today) and all that and then we'll talk.

Man, you'd think we'd get better at breaking up by now - I mean, we've done it enough times, right?  It should be like that movie Groundhog Day when every time we do it we get better at it until finally we are wishing each other a great life and spending Christmas together with our new partners and stuff.

We started out good, I promised not to blog and he promised not to boink his secretary (and we made a few other promises and apologies but those were the central ones I guess) and it was Christmas and we were alone in our new country and it was dark and there were candles and a tiny bit of snow and it felt like the last year was just a bad, bad dream and now we had woken up in each others arms where we were supposed to be and everything was good and safe and warm.

Well that lasted like a day.

So okay.....

First off I need to make it clear that my marriage vows meant a lot to me.  Unlike some people I could mention

... when I got married, it was for keeps.  It was til death do us part, not until you screw up do us part, or, until we move to a new country and everything gets scary do us part, or, until I can't help but notice a viking sex god personal trainer looking at me a certain way do us part.

So anyway.  Judge if you want but just remember that people have to live the way they think is right, and my right way was to give my marriage all the shot I could give it.

Well, until it all went to shit again.

He asked me not to blog -- no scratch that, he TOLD me not to blog about it and I can't tell you how good it feels that the day after he packed his bags here I am! 

DON'T tell me what to do Mr.  Don't tell me that me sharing my thoughts on our little move to Sweden is what put you under pressure that you acted out.  Please!  Because you just had no choice to boink your secretary because I was blogging?  Uhhuhh. 

Which, I am typing this now and it's crazy.  I am reading the words I am typing and I'm like - what?  Please!  I believed this guy even for a second?  This A-HOLE who walked out on me and left me as alone as any human being could be in a strange country.

But you know what?  I did.  I felt bad.  I stepped up and I took responsibility for what he said hurt him and put our marriage on the course to dunzo and suddenly it's like the storm clouds have cleared and I'm like WHAT?  I wrote a little blog and maybe complained a tiny bit about the MAJOR LIFE CHANGE you forced me to take on, and you fell into the arms of however many Swedish twinkies but sure, we're even.  I need to apologize to you as much as you need to apologize to me, you know what, let me do it a little bit more because as the woman in this little equation, of course it's up to me to make things good again, amiright?   I have ovaries and a hoo-hah and that means I take the whole responsibility for making things good.

SERIOUSLY?

This is not a one post story.  I need to take a walk (oh, it's minus 7 right now, btw.  Awesome) and take a minute and take a breath and I'll be back with more gory details.

I'm Baaaaaaaaacckkk....

Miss me?

It's been a little bit...

Wanna hear about it?????