A friend!!!

Whaddayaknow, right after I posted about feeling bad about not feeling like I am getting to know people here, I just made my first friend!

I went to meet Erik after he had a training session because we had a coffee date (things are okay between us right now, he is trying to understand that I can't give what he wants yet and being patient), and when I showed up he was like "come meet my client" - he had mentioned this girl called Amie before (pronounced Aah-mie, not Ay-mee like in America) and said he thought we would really hit it off. And we did! 

She came out of the changing rooms and was so friendly and excitable I thought for a second she must be American!  She said she had been really looking forward to meeting me and I was even cuter than Erik said and she had been listening to him about us for months and was really rooting for things to work out, and I was like - wow!  Hi!

So we went and had coffee (I met up with Erik later) and just jabbered away the whole time like we had been storing up things to say to each other for our whole lives.  She is super cute and sweet and fun and we made plans to do some shopping (and more fika) next week too. 

Like they always say, boys come and go, but a good girlfriend means everything!!

Tonight

Me: I warned you I wasn't ready for anything serious
Him: I didn't expect this
Me:  I just got out of my marriage
Him: I can't help how I feel.
Me: Neither can I. 
Him: But I fell in love with you.

Just because it's sunny doesn't mean it isn't Fall

Another new season here in Stockholm.  My third since I moved here, although technically I was here for spring which would make it my fourth, but I dunno, I think I missed it.  Maybe I blinked or something because basically, it was winter until about May, then suddenly it was summer, which was great.  But now it's over and there's a chill in the air but no snow so I guess it's fall.

My second season not being married.  Well okay legally, I still am, but in my heart I am definitely a single gal again.  It took a while.  For a really long time I bought enough groceries for two, including stuff that I don't really like but he does.  And I still bought it, then a few weeks later when it was mouldy chucked it out.  And then forgot again and bought it again the next time I went to the store.   

I kept an eye on baseball scores all summer so I would know what kind of mood he would be in when he got home, then I remembered he wasn't going to come home.  I slept on my side of the bed for a long while, then one day realized I could stretch out in the middle and never looked back. 

There were times I got so lonely I could scream.  I spent the summer walking among all these people who all know each other and are in couples and wondered if anybody would ever talk to me again. 

Swedes are hard work to really get to know.  You keep thinking you're there, you're close, then you get reminded all over again that they have people in their lives that are way more important than you'll ever be and you just have to suck it.

I think they prioritize people by how long they have known them.  If it's between me and somebody they knew at school, I lose every time and so I have no chance.  This is a pretty unimaginitve way to deal with people if you ask me - I definitely wouldn't consider the people I knew in high school to be automatically more important than someone really amazing I just met, but I guess that's just reason # 7,676,339,982 I will never be Swedish.  And also, most of the people I went to high school with are assholes.

You know on...

A rainy day in early fall (even if the rest of the world thinks it's summer) and you spend the day in a cosy candlelit coffeeshop with your honey and everything is as wonderful as could be?  The guy who most of the time you think probably can't spell the world feelings suddenly is all affectionate and says things that just make your toes curl?

And it helps you put things in perspective, things you can't change and really don't matter all that much and it's just a day to smile?

?!?!?

Okay, I admit that I am weak when it comes to gossip - I love it!  I've said that proudly before and I will say it again - I love gossip!!!!!!  And I think that celebrities should just chin up and take it as part of their job - you want to be famous and pampered and never worry about money?  WEll okay, but people are going to talk about you.  Deal with it, m'kay!!

But I am not a celebrity!  I write a silly little blog about my time in Sweden that REALLY isn't all that interesting and people treat me like I'm some crazy Hollywood person living a fascinating life!  I don't even understand what they find to talk about (I really don't go and read it all myself), can you let me know what is so interesting about my life because I'd sure like to know???!!!  I guess I can't stop people talking about me in other forums but can I just let you know it's weird for me???

I don't know if I should do anything.  Some people are advising me I should go to the forums and confront people who are spreading rumors about me (especially because maybe my ex will find out and use this stuff against me somehow) but I don't know - don't they say not to feed trolls?

It's just really not what I need at this difficult time for me.  Things are getting better for sure, but I am still vulnerable and just don't need bad energy even out there amongst crazies on the internet.  Is it because people are jealous that I get groceries in the same store as some Skarsgards?  Because I've got to tell you, IT'S JUST A STORE!  Buying milk is buying milk, people, it's not that interesting!!

Oh and the funniest thing?  Apparently Erik isn't real either!  He has a website for his personal training!  Look it up, idiots!!!

Swedes Glorious Swedes

Why do they all hover randomly in the street and don't move when people need to get by?
Why do they all wear the exact same outfit and have the exact same phone?
Why do they look down on me when I TRY to speak their language and not even listen even though I'm doing my best?
Why do they not have one low-fat option on anything in the store but they are all skinny?
Why do they have no idea what feelings and emotions are and definitely not how to express them to another human being?
Why do they sit in coffee shops all day long even on weekdays?
Why do the men dress like (hipster) women, and the women dress like (hipster) men?
Why are their supermarkets full of different varieties of the SAME FIVE FOODS?
Why did no one tell me that I've been paying for salad and a drink and a cookie every time I buy lunch but I didn't know I had to go get it myself?
Why do they act like being a little bit friendly is a sign of being a freaky stalker like person?
Why do they eat lunch at 10:30 am?

OhioGirl is Back!!

Okay, sorry about getting a little emotional last night, but picture the scene: I'm all snuggled up with my honey, just about to fall asleep, and I decide to check emails on my phone one last time and I have about 20 either friends asking me what's going on, or weirdos telling me I... umm, don't exist.  Mmmmm so okay... why has this blog always attracted people with a screw or two missing?  I didn't ask for this kind of attention!  I guess it's kind of flattering that people think about me enough to make up crazy stories about me - thank you!!!  Now step away from my life, kthanksbye!!!

But anyway I guess it's good because it made me get my butt in gear and start writing in this blog again which I have been meaning and thinking about doing for the longest time.  Basically, summer went a little insane for me, I have had a LOT of personal sh*t to deal with so I just took a little time to be me, you know?  I walked around in the sunshine and sat in parks and watched the water and ate ice cream (sometimes!!) and spent a little time with a personal trainer we all know and love.  Well I do, I don't know about you guys.  And if you do, back away while you still have both your knees!!!!!!

Oh, and worked on getting divorced which was so fun!  Seriously, I recommend it as a leisure activity for all the family, it just makes you feel SO GOOD.

So anyway.  I might go into more detail about this stuff someday, but for right now I want to focus on the FUTURE and TAKING ONE STEP AT A TIME.  And also, in figuring out if I can walk through walls and stuff now that I'm not a real person.

Whatever crazies!

EXCUSE ME????

So, I take a little break from blogging to enjoy the summer and my honey and because I've got enough drama in my real life without having crazies be crazy On me in my very own blog, and today I here that some person STOLE images from this blog to pretend it's part of some tv show and now is telling people that I don't exist?!????? Ummm sorry but I just pinched myself there and I definitely felt it... yeah pretty sure I'm real thanks very much.... Wtf is going on with all the crazies??? Is it a full moon on the Internet or sonething??

Umm seriously though, could we not let this rumor get out of control please? Because that guy I used to be married to will use any excuse not to pay shit and a figment Of somebody's imaginatio can't exactly claim alimOny, know what I'm saying???

Erik

I know you hate this blog but I am desperate.  Please, please call me baby.  I love you and I miss you and I'm so sorry for whatever made you mad or hurt or whatever.  Please just get in touch or could anyone who can get in touch with him just say that C loves him and will do whatever needed to fix this?

Midsummer Night Dream!!

Oh my goodness!  So today is one of those summer days in Sweden where you'd think it was fall or something because there are dark clouds everywhere and you're like, umm, June?  I'd like my money back please.

But anyway!  I'm getting used to it, I guess.  The really weird thing is the light until midnight, it just really messes with your head!  I remember going to bed when it was still light out in summer... when I was about 6!  So it feels weird and cool and kind of kid-like to go to bed at adult time and you would practically need sunglasses if you stepped outside!!

It's midsummer next weekend, which I am gathering is a pretty big deal.  It's funny, because at home people are maybe like "oh, it's the longest day of the year today" ... at the most, but by the sounds of it, it's as big as Christmas here.  I guess it's half-Christmas!

I'm hearing about all these crazy traditions, like doing a dance like your a frog (umm okay... you first!) and singing songs and drinking that shnaps stuff which I tried once and it nearly blew my head off.  Maybe the singing takes the edge off?  So it should be interesting!  I guess Erik has plans for us, so I will go along and dance like a frog and sing about liquor because that's the kind of devoted gal I am!!!

Ha ha ha ha

Sometimes it's so fun to poke the crazies.  And no one can "warn" me for it in my own blog, so I get to say whatever I like.  It's so funny to me how people can read one post, completely make up their own version of it in whatever reality they live in, then argue back... and it's like... umm, go read what I actually said, then argue with me.  Go right ahead and argue with me, that's cool, but... don't argue with stuff you made up yourself, because then I can't even join in!  And where's the fun in that?

One post and banned - a personal record, I thank you. 
*takes bow even though doesn't understand what's so terrible about disagreeing with one person but I guess some people see things their way and good luck to them*

Love Is

Understanding that you'll always come second...

At least this one has a mistress I know about... it's a step in the right direction!!

Things you need to know about Sweden

Six months I've been living here.  An entire half a year!

What have I learned in this time?

Well:

The potatoes and onions are in their own little section around the corner from the other vegetables in Swedish supermarkets.  Who knew?  Not little old me who literally searched for the freaking onions for about AN HOUR when we first got here.

The liquor stores are run by the government which really freaks me out because I don't feel like the King of Sweden or whoever needs to know how many bottles of rose I buy a week, you know?

How can you tell an extrovert Swede?  He's the one looking at someone else's shoes.

Just because men like to wear jeans so tight that you could count the change in their pocket, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't like women.

If you like a Swedish guy and he likes you, don't hold your breath for anything to happen because it will take SIX MONTHS and by then you'd be dead which wouldn't be ideal for a great relationship.

Every meal involves cheese.

When somebody in a store says "hej" to you, this is not an invitation to start a conversation.  You are to say "hej" back.  Not a single word more, or else they will get all freaked out and start to back away like you are a crazy American who wants to be their friend.  Seriously people, "how are you today" does not mean I want to be your best friend forever and have your babies.  Chill!

Detectiving...

A good detective always gets her man!  Wait, I think that's the Canadian Mounties.  So what if I'm a Canadian Mountie when it comes to mystery musician guys.  I look cute in red.

Actually, looking at these, I don't feel so bad.  He doesn't look freaked out at all!  Phew!!

Aaaaahhhh!

OMG I just did something a little crazy.

Oh hell!  But what was I supposed to do?  I've been trying to identify this guy for about a YEAR and he was right there on the street in front of me.

You would have taken a photo too, right?

Remember my rockstar?

I might have freaked him out a little bit, but he's a rockstar!  He's got to get used to fans, yes?  It's fun to be a little crazy!  How else was I supposed to identify him?

If I post the photos here, you guys might know who he is, and then I can go start buying his music... I think he probably wants that, right?  I think it's worth a few moments of "why is that crazy lady taking my photo" ... right???

Rumors!

There are some crazy people with way too much time on their hands!

I keep hearing that the Ex left me and not the other way around... umm, I'm pretty sure I remember it all right and probably know a little bit more than people who were an ENTIRE OCEAN away when it all went down, m'kay?  Seriously, who would argue with somebody about their own life?  What are the chances you are more right than me? 

Just to clear things up for the last time, I will be more honest with you all than I planned to be.  Not that I have been lying or anything, but certain things are hard to lay bare to people, you know?  But I would rather you all knew my truth than the "truth" of crazy haters.  He had a bunch of affairs.  Okay?  That make you happy now?  Last I heard, not that I care a whole lot, he was living with the twinkie secretary who yes, was the one to call me to ask me to come in for the mediation/gotcha session.  His new girlfriend - oh, trust me I get it!!!  I've thought everything you're thinking right now. 

Is it wrong that a little part of me thinks that if he had to move in with somebody it coulda been somebody a little hotter?  I'm not pretending to be a supermodel, but a little conditioner goes a long way, that's all I'm saying.   And also, if she thinks she's his one and only, she is sadly mistaken.  I guess that's her problem now, not mine... good luck sweetie!!

Hmmmm

Not that I'm all that interested, but I'm taking a little break from the sun this afternoon (teensy leetle bit burned!!) and having a nose around some of my favorite nooks and crannies on the internet, including some of the love-to-hate favourites, and I couldn't help but notice that my old *buddy* seems to have stopped blogging kind of suddenly:

http://soderbonanfrida.blogspot.com/

Hmm.  Can't help but wonder why such an attention-you-know-what so suddenly went underground....

The Mushy Cr*p

All of you who have been saying for months and months that he likes me and I've just been too blind/burned by the &*%^* I was married to/stupid to see were right!  Pat yourselves on the back, whydontcha!!

I can't even believe I ever doubted him and us and our feelings, what was I thinking! 

*Oh*

I know it's only Saturday, but what a weekend.

What, a weekend.

How do you solve a problem like Swedish men?

Because... damn!  Okay, so where I come from, a guy likes you, he might hit on you sleazily which is annoying but at least it's clear what he wants, he asks you out, you say sure and the rest is history.  Simple, right?

I'm talking to the lady doing my facial today about the whole Erik situation (yeah it's all blown up, story's a comin'...) and I was telling her all the things he has said and done for MONTHS now that make it clear he is interested in me and yet still he hasn't really made a move.  And she was like "oh sweetie, he's Swedish!  He's probably waiting for you to."  And I was like - umm, no.  Not fair.  We have cramps and waxing and childbirth THEY HAVE TO MAKE THE MOVES.  It's the way of the universe!

I mean, when I say hasn't made a move, of course he has.  Moves have happened.  But we're not dating, exactly.  We're friends who... move sometimes.  Or are we dating Swedishly and I just don't even realise?  It's it all too subtle for this American gal who is used to men who are pretty darned obvious about it if they are dating you?

I've lost patience.  I've lost patience SO MANY TIMES and then I see him again and it's like... oh go on then, you are hot.  And tall.  What is it about tall men that's just irresistible?  And sweet and kind and funny... it all blew up again because he asked me how I was.  And it just knocked me for six.  He asked me how stuff in the US had gone, and said that it had been weird without me for a couple weeks.  So he is interested in my life, missed me while I was gone... is all vibe-y and a little unnecessarily touchy... is this it?  Is this a relationship in Sweden?  Am I supposed to jump all on him?  How do you even make a move on somebody almost an entire foot taller than you?  I would need a ladder or a pogo stick or something, which would not exactly have the subtle effect I would be going for.