Good Moron

Which I guess is better than being a bad moron, right?

It's crazy the little things that get you about not really understanding the language around you.  I'm trying to learn, and I am picking up little things, like how to ask for coffee or say 'excuse me' (even though I'm about the only person in Stockholm that uses the second one, they don't seem to consider knocking into somebody something worthy of acknowledgment).  Problem is, if I manage to ask for the coffee semi correctly, the person comes to the conclusion that I speak some Swedish and asks if I want cream or tells me how much it is in Swedish and I'm like "... what now?"  But anyway, baby steps.

What's funny though, is that there's some words that sound like English but mean something totally different.  Or even just a little bit different, enough to be a little bit funny.  Like, the word "lång" means tall.  But if a certain personal trainer tells me that he's really long, I'm not the only one to blush and get the giggles, right... ?  Or if someone yells 'stop' which is "sluta", certain American gals with very high morals might get a a little offended!

Or, 'good morning' is "god morgon" (uhh, yeah, you don't need to know who said good morning to me... right?) but sounds like "good moron", which, like I said, is better than a bad moron...

The people asked...

Okay, one commenter asked, but maybe other people wondered!

Erik.

Man, I don't know.  There is something there, we both know it and sometimes it really flickers to life but then he goes weird or I realize this is more than I can handle so it kind of dwindles down until we see each other the next time and it's like, damn.  You are hot.

Imagine in sweats and kind of longer, messier hair and even more adorkable because he's not a hot actor who has to know how hot he is, but a real regular Södermalm guy who really doesn't seem to have any clue.

I'm getting the impression that he has those regular hot guy issues with women/commitment, and doesn't really know if he's coming or going, so it's not that he doesn't like me (that's clear enough) but it might come down to me not really having the patience to deal with this kind of adolescent shit.  Maybe it's a Swedish thing or just a dating thing and it's been so long I've forgotten, but I'm just like, can we be grown ups here a little bit?

So it's not not happening, but it's up in the air how much it's happening.

Clear?  Good.  Could somebody explain it to me, please?

Tubes Glorious Tubes

Was in the grocery store today (it's bad that I've discovered another one closer to my apartment but I still like the one I saw Stellan Skarsgård in 'cause it's cool... it's Grocery Shopping with the Stars), and I was standing there holding a tube of something and my Swedish dictionary, trying to figure out what the heck it was. 

 Now, in other countries, there's a limit to what foodstuffs are likely to be found in a tube, right?  It's going to be some sort of condiment... right?  Wrong.  I swear you could make an entire meal in Sweden just by squirting stuff onto your plate.

I have some cousins in the Pacific Northwest, and I once described their personal style as "always ready for unexpected hiking".  Swedish food is kind of "always ready for an unexpected trip to space".

Don't forget your helmet

Okay this just cracks me up.  Does anybody else get a mental picture of a bunch of huge guys with spears and horn helmets and whatnot lining up with their passports and tickets... just me?

Är Du Gift?

Well no, Sweden, not any more actually, thanks to you!

A while ago, I posted about some porn I had seen in a store window, and basically got half the population of Sweden commenting to tell me to chill out and not be so prudish and anyway Americans are really violent and that's much worse.  And I was like, okay sure, different cultures are different, maybe Americans are uptight about sex a little bit? 

But at least we don't have commercials telling people to have affairs.

I've been seeing these all over Stockholm the last few days, and I was like, no, that doesn't say what I think it does... right?  I mean, "ha en affär" doesn't exactly take a translation genius to figure out, but I just though I had to have got it wrong.

Except it turns out I didn't.  Yep, these commercials that are everywhere (seriously, you can't miss 'em unless you walk around with your eyes shut... and why would you do that?) and they say "are you married?  Live a little - have an affair".  They are for a dating agency.  For married people.

Now, I'm all for being free and open about sex and chill with being naked and experimenting and kinky stuff if that's what consenting adults want to do on their own time, but I draw the line at encouraging adultery.  There's just no excuse for that, and I have serious questions about a culture that's okay with it.

You can't help but see how a certain good old American boy who had been stand up and committed and respected the institution of marriage got off the plane here and was like "party time". 

Sunshine!

After yesterday's snow-dump, it's beautiful blue skies and sunny today.  Am going exploring... !

Coopweger split... called it!

Hah!  Not to be smug and cynical about love (who me?) I can't help but remember just last week I mentioned I never bought Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger.  Just something always a little bit "off" about the whole thing when they first came out - remember the Spain trip which was the premiere of The Hangover there, but she kind of tagged along and they were "caught" having breakfast?

I mean come on!  his hair is even "just got out of bed with this woman I'm now having breakfast with mussed" - could it be any more staged?  Who doesn't brush their hair before going down to  breakfast in a hotel!

And how tall is the paparazzi who took this photo?  Or did he bring a ladder?  How did they not notice the dude on the ladder?

And then there was the finger in the back pocket shot I talked about before which, I'm telling you, is a dead giveaway!  Neither person gets anything out of a touch like that, it's all about telegraphing to the world 'hey I get to touch this person's butt, what does that tell you.... huh? ... huh??'  Couples do that in high school, because dating in high school is more about letting everyone know you're dating this person, rather than just really wanting to touch the fabric of their jeans because pockets are so hot.

 And then remember the whole PR blast about him "choosing" Jennifer Aniston and her heart being broken, and it was like 'please'?

Well hey Mr Pap - we didn't see you there!

But after a pap fest of them being "caught" together but never exactly hand holdy obvious couply, it all went quiet for like a year and I started to think maybe I was wrong.  Maybe it was just weird how they got together but if they're just quietly hanging out together ever since then maybe it got real or maybe it seemed weird but it wasn't really.  Like these pictures when they were just wandering around (Vancouver?  Maybe) together, not being weird about not being in the same frame together, just being low-key and normal, it was like... okay they hang out like regular people.  Maybe he really did break Jennifer Aniston's heart and they find jeans pockets hot.

Until they "broke up".

The same week as his movie comes out.

And claimed that there had been break up rumors for weeks.  Except there hasn't.  Not saying I'm a serious gossip addict or anything, but if there were break up rumors anywhere, I'd have seen them.  If anything, the rumors have been that they're serious enough to finally come out.  Not been one whisper about them breaking up other than People last night claiming that there have been whispers.

So anyway.  Just saying...

A little notion...

To check out some live music.  Any recommendations?

Update

So.  Still here, still living.  Stuff happening.

I talked to a lawyer my family know well from back home, who gave me so much advice I felt like my head was going to explode.  I seriously have Sunday-night-when-you-haven't-done-your-homework-yet feeling about all of this, you know!  I'm like, stop telling me about horrible stuff I have to take care of, just let me play and have fun!  I want to go to the beach!  Waah, leave me alone!  But that's the attitude that sent me to summer school for three years running so I guess I have to woman up and deal with it all.

I totally know what everybody is saying about making sure I get what's mine, but I am just so pissed at his attitude that I'm this Real Housewives type golddigger and he has to protect everything he ever worked for from me - ME?!  You know?  So I have this feeling like, I don't need you or your money or your assets, just go rattle around in it all by yourself because I'm so much better than that.  I still get little ragy stabby waves whirling up when I think about that lawyer ambush - what did I ever do to deserve that?  Did I ever sound, in this blog, like I just wanted to spend his crappy cash and sit around eating bonbons all day?  Seriously, tell me!

So anyway.  That's how I feel even though I know it's not smart so I'm in this little fight with myself right now.  I really don't know whose going to win, but I guess one way or another it'll be me!

The List

The Royal Guards...

... there was a hotter one before, but I forgot my camera!  I went home to get it and when I came back he was no where to be seen so I took a photo of this one instead who is still pretty hot but not quite at the level of the last one.  Note to self: always carry camera around in Stockholm!

This is gonna age me a bit...

But this is how I feel today:

MIA

Sorry for being a little slack with updates the last few days, will be back to regular service soon!!

P.P.S.

Erik.  His name is spelled Erik.  Need to get used to that!

Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and go with what your heart is telling you.

Maybe this whole crazy mess of moving to Sweden was to bring me to my soulmate?  I feel like every cell is more alive when I am around him, I'm buzzed and on a sugar high where you just crack up all the time at nothing because just being alive makes you smile and laugh.

I know it's not smart.  I know I have important and scary and horrible sh*t that I need to deal with, but just for right now, I need to be with him or the world will fall off its orbit and nothing will be worth it.  Because isn't being alive about being in love?

I'm not going to fight The Ex on anything, I don't care.  No amount of money or half our house back in the US or even this apartment is worth trouble and stress and strife.  I'm a strong independent woman and I can support myself - check me out, I guess I'm more Swedish than I thought!!  I don't need a penny from him, I have my new opportunities and I have love and health and happiness.  And he can just take a long walk off a short cliff.

P.S.

Don't worry about me - 'aint nobody taking OhioGirl for a fool.   He underestimated me for the last time. 

Intesting News...

It seems somebody got herself a job!  (me, that is)

Nothing completely sure yet, but I put the word out to some old contacts in the events/PR biz and got some pretty exciting responses.  We'll see what happens, but kind of excited to be putting the old party girl shoes on again...

He ambushed me.  How could I be so stupid?  It was a trap, sheer and simple.  It was him and two - TWO! - lawyers sitting waiting for me with documents to sign that basically mean I would get nothing out of this divorce.  Because that's what it is - HE is filing for divorce from ME!  Because I guess he is the wronged party here?!!???!!!!  How could I have thought it was about reconcilliation?  I was sure that's what the secretary said but when I said that he said no way then later admitted maybe she got mixed up so now I don't even know if I heard the right thing of if I am going crazy or what.  All I know is that he tried to blindside me and it was a BIG MISTAKE.  How stupid does he think I am?  Oh yeah, he thinks I'm stupid enough to not notice or care that he has been CHEATING on me with god knows how many skanks for a REALLY LONG TIME and I'm just supposed to wish him good luck with the rest of his life? Yeah right!!  I was an independent woman when I married him making good money in a upward career and HE wanted me to be a homemaker and I AGREED and now he is suggesting I contributed nothing to the marriage?  Nothing except taking care of you because you are INCOMPETANT in every basic way, A-HOLE!  Let's see how well he does remembering any appointments, ever, or remembering to pay bills (he has the money, he's just a moron) or knowing what a vegetable is never mind eating one or how long it takes him to go broke buying new underwear every week because he doesn't know how to work a washing machine.  This could have been adult, and friendly and mature and HE screwed that up, big time.

I was going to give him another chance.  Damn damn damn what was I thinking?  I walked across to where his office is and I thought and thought and I just wanted all this to go away again and I made up my mind that if he said the right things, I would listen.  And instead he did this to me.  I couldn't even cry because those two freaking lawyers were sitting there looking at me like I was crazy or something because I got a little upset at being treated like a problem kid or something.  I couldn't even find the words to speak to start with I just stared at them all.  He is a stranger to me.  I once read this magazine article about a woman who got an operation and she woke up but because they gave her muscle relaxants or something she couldn't move to tell them she was awake and she felt every thing while the surgeons cut her open and took out her appendix or something.  That is literally how I feel now.  Like surgeons are cutting me open and removing things and the pain is so indescribable that I can't even scream.

No Fat Ladies Singing Yet

His secretary called.  Nothing says 'I miss you and I need you back' like your PA calling to make an appointment!  Emotionally, he is a moron.  But anyway, he wants to schedule a mediation session to try to work all this out.

I know I said was done, line drawn under, yadda yadda, but I couldn't say no.  I still can't see how we could ever go back from this stuff, but if he is so desperate to try I guess I have to do my bit too, even if just to say 'well we gave it our best shot'.  I feel like I already gave it a 110% shot, but I don't know any more.  Maybe it's worth talking or maybe I just need to show up.

I said I'd go this afternoon.

Good Old Days and Gossip

Workout session canceled today, so been getting organized in the apartment and going through old photos and stuff.  Seems like I didn't distract anybody with my story of one first kiss so to sneak in news of another, but something happened yesterday on a fan board I hang out at sometimes that reminded me of those days a little bit.

I wasn't really ever a groupie in the Almost Famous/I'm With the Band sense, not really.  Maybe I had a chance to be or almost was at some points during that time, but I was happy just dipping my toe in (in the metaphor sense, not being TMI ;-) ) from time to time.  I like creative people who live outside the box a little bit (why I married who I did is a mystery then, guy practically built the box, but whatever) so when I hung out with rockstars it was because I was genuinely interested in and attracted to them as people, not like some groupies that see the whole thing as just competition with other women or sometimes imagine that it's some kind of vocation or career choice - please!  I was never about married guys or guys with long term girlfriends, but if a musician was single and fun to hang out with - why the H not??


That wasn't what I was going to talk about.  I was going to talk about the fans.  I never dated or got to really know anyone super duper famous, but some that had some fans who posted about them or the band.  I like to hang out on fan boards sometimes too because I'm an insatiable gossip, so I have kind of experienced that whole phenomenon from both sides.  And what I learned, is a) weird shit happens, weirder than most people could even think up, but at the same time, b) most stuff is way more boring than fans speculate.  Which is kind of completely contradictory, but still true. 

It cracks me up when people insist their take is true, because there is no way they have any clue so mostly, everyone's guess is as good as everyone else's.  I read stuff about me (not that I was somebody anyone would know my name, just 'blonde getting in the car with XXX' or whatever) and it was so far off the truth it would be hilarious, and other times they'd happen to get it dead on and it was freaky.

The whole fun of being a fan and gossiping is that you can speculate and have opinions and none of it really matters because you'll never know what's true and more importantly, the only people you can hurt by your opinions (as opposed to if you hate the relationship a friend is in or something) are crazies who go off the wall when somebody doesn't agree with them.  And let's face it, those crazies will find someone to be offended by!

Celebrity gossip is my little 'thing'.  Sometimes I follow stories about celebrities I don't really care about just because there's something intriguingly 'off' about the story (Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger, really?) or how it's presented (because trust me, it's all being presented in one way or another), and sometimes it's someone I really like and I kind of know I'm getting overinvested but then I think 'meh, it'll pass'. 

On Coopweger, is it just me, or does anyone else just not buy the hand/finger in the back pocket thing?  It's such an unnatural gesture, I don't know anyone in real life who does it!

Sometimes it drives me crazy that I'll never know the truth of some stories, and sometimes that's the fun of it.