Smug Marrieds

Was I like this when I was in a couple?  If so then I thank everybody who knew me then for not rearranging my face and I'm sorry that I guess i'm not as nice as you people because lately all I've seen is couples and couples and couples shoving their snuggling in my face - seriously, get a room!  I know your all Swedish and would pretty much do it right on the street if it wasn't so cold today but come on!  Some people just want to relax over a little sugar fix and not bascially get diabetes from all the cutsey crap.  And it's not like these people are teenagers with raging hormones they can't control  (we've all been there!) these are ADULTS.  Who basically seem to be starring in an ADULT movie most of the time. 

I just think there are times and places for certain things (like for example a bedroom and when you are alone).  I mean I wouldn't want to bring a kid to certain places around here - should there be R rated coffee shops??  And supermarkets!  When I'm trying to reach something and they're right in front of me making out over the pasta sauce, and I'm like, yeah it's super cute you're gonna cook together now get out of my face.

And what's with bachelorette parties?  It's gross how men go out for one last wild night out, and women celebrate that they got a man.  Because getting a man is not all it's cracked up to be let me tell you.  And not all that difficult for crap's sake, so it's not like its some major achievement that really needs to be celebrated with jello shots. 

So things aren't super hot with Erik the Emotionally Stunted Asshole right now.