So just as I'm all happy and announcing this as my home, the Swedes go and piss me off!! What's that about? I was being nice!!
I hear a lot about how they have a reputation for being rude and unfriendly and freakishly reserved and in to themselves (how do you tell an extrovert Swede? He's the one staring at someone else's shoes), and usually I don't really agree. Well I mean, they're not always the most friendly outgoing people, but I really respect people's right to be different and live life how they chose, you know? If you don't want to say have a nice day to me, that's just fine. I'll just say it to you and if you look like an a-hole for not hoping I have a nice day back, then I can't really help you there.
But then today, I took the subway into the city to do a little shopping, and I was standing on the platform waiting for the train minding my own business, and this HUGE guy came right up to me and stood about an inch and a half away from me. And I was like, wtf? It was intimidating, he literally was about twice the size of me and he's just standing there, not even looking at me or anything. After about three hours I finally figured out that he wanted to get past me.
WTF? Who just stands there like some socially retarded moron instead of just saying "excuse me?". What is so wrong and scary about saying "excuse me?". I would have happily gotten out of his way, I have no reason to stop him in his clearly important journey to further up the platform, so it wouldn't have been a problem for me. But just standing there, intimidating me as a petite woman, expecting me to read his mind. What's that about Sweden? So I didn't get out of his way. Sorry, but if you want something from me, you gotta ask. Nicely. Then you get it. Not before.
Have a nice day everyone!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The reason...
... I haven't been blogging in a while is because I went to the US for a little bit. Can't post about life in Södermalm when I wasn't there, right?
I went for reasons I might or might not talk about someday, and some sh*t went down that I might or might not talk about someday. So that's informative, I know. But I just need a little time to digest, because I really don't understand people who just exist to hate and be negative, I mean, why? Just why?
Anyway, back "home" in Stockholm, and it really does feel like home. I felt good getting off the plane, actually better than the first time back in winter (partly because it wasn't minus a million degrees, maybe!!) but also because it was my choice this time, I wasn't being dragged along like some pretty little obedient wife.
Maybe my little "brief encounter" (I wish!!!!!!) on Sunday was my reward for being so brave and taking control of my life again, maybe?!
I went for reasons I might or might not talk about someday, and some sh*t went down that I might or might not talk about someday. So that's informative, I know. But I just need a little time to digest, because I really don't understand people who just exist to hate and be negative, I mean, why? Just why?
Anyway, back "home" in Stockholm, and it really does feel like home. I felt good getting off the plane, actually better than the first time back in winter (partly because it wasn't minus a million degrees, maybe!!) but also because it was my choice this time, I wasn't being dragged along like some pretty little obedient wife.
Maybe my little "brief encounter" (I wish!!!!!!) on Sunday was my reward for being so brave and taking control of my life again, maybe?!
Monday, May 30, 2011
I'd know those lips anywhere
That's all I had to see really, and I knew. I was chatting later with my friend and I said he was wearing a hat and sunglasses and she was like, so how could you possibly know for sure it was him? Your always going on about how every guy here is tall and looks kind of like him so probably it was one of those guys and you are just freaking out as usual. But I knew.
Because what was partly so weird is that I felt like I saw someone I knew on the street. Not something that happens here a whole lot, on account of not knowing so many people. So for the first maybe seven seconds that I could actually see him my brain WASTED TIME going, oh hey, that's... that guy I know! Hi! Wait... oh crap... I don't know him, don't wave, don't say hi, just... oh hell he's gone.
I didn't take a picture, mostly because I was inside a cafe and he was on the street outside and I just looked up and he was in the window, framed like on a stage just for me. I would've had to scrabble in my bag for my phone, leave my lunch on the table and race outside and given that his one footstep covers about half a block would have had to run half a marathon to catch him up by that point, and we all know I own the fangirl thing, but that's a step too far even for me. Plus, I was hungry.
So I just saw him, for a second, through a window, but that was enough. I don't want to be his friend and maybe even talking to him would have ruined things, what if he was impatient or annoyed that some random American wanted his time when he was actually on a break from America and I just couldn't get over that? Seeing him with my own two eyes is just okay.
His lips are even more sensual in real life. Just needed to add that.
Because what was partly so weird is that I felt like I saw someone I knew on the street. Not something that happens here a whole lot, on account of not knowing so many people. So for the first maybe seven seconds that I could actually see him my brain WASTED TIME going, oh hey, that's... that guy I know! Hi! Wait... oh crap... I don't know him, don't wave, don't say hi, just... oh hell he's gone.
I didn't take a picture, mostly because I was inside a cafe and he was on the street outside and I just looked up and he was in the window, framed like on a stage just for me. I would've had to scrabble in my bag for my phone, leave my lunch on the table and race outside and given that his one footstep covers about half a block would have had to run half a marathon to catch him up by that point, and we all know I own the fangirl thing, but that's a step too far even for me. Plus, I was hungry.
So I just saw him, for a second, through a window, but that was enough. I don't want to be his friend and maybe even talking to him would have ruined things, what if he was impatient or annoyed that some random American wanted his time when he was actually on a break from America and I just couldn't get over that? Seeing him with my own two eyes is just okay.
His lips are even more sensual in real life. Just needed to add that.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
A square in my shoes...
Medborgarplatsen on a sunny afternoon...
(or, another stupid little video for you!)
Sorry I've been slack on updates lately, just been feeling lazy and meh and whatever about stuff. But nobody keeps OhioGirl down for long, so I will be back with a vengeance soon!!!
(or, another stupid little video for you!)
Sorry I've been slack on updates lately, just been feeling lazy and meh and whatever about stuff. But nobody keeps OhioGirl down for long, so I will be back with a vengeance soon!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The List - Melodifesten theme!
If I've understood correctly, I can't vote for Sweden from Sweden anyway, but if I could I think I would be torn between Sweden and the UK:
So I guess jolly old England it is!!
It's all about the music, after all... right?
So I guess jolly old England it is!!
It's all about the music, after all... right?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Spring come back! Was it me? Did I say something?!!!!
So after 2+ weeks of beautifulness, winter freaking decided to show it's face again.
And of course it decided to jump up and be like "hi, remember me? Here's a little snow to remind you." just when I finally booked a session with the Tall One. When I called him last week he was really booked up, so it took us till yesterday to arrange a session, which I am really trying not to take personally. I mean, he's a busy guy and a in demand trainer, I get that, but I guess I thought that maybe after everything I was a little bit more than just another client, you know? But maybe he was just playing cool - I was the one that disappeared on him, so I guess he has to protect himself.
Anyway, we booked for yesterday morning and he showed up at my apartment at 8am and off we went... and almost right away it started to snow. The day before we had a teensy bit of what was more like really cold rain for a few minutes, but kind of not really, so I figured it was more of the same. But as we ran it got heavier. And even coated the street a little bit (most of it melted as soon as it landed, but not all). But neither of us said anything.
We just ran, in silence, me with my heart and lungs just about to explode all over the street and trying really hard not to puke because that would most definitely send him mixed signals. And neither of us mentioning the fact that we were running through a blizzard in May.
Then we got back to the apartment, and arranged another session for Friday and he said bye and jogged off in the snow. And almost as soon as he went, the snow stopped. Now I'm not gonna pretend that the sun came right out and it was springtime again, but, there was no more snow.
What does that mean? Is it a sign that Erik is part of my winter and I should move on even though I paid him (with HIS money so it's not like it matters). Or is there just freaky weather in Stockholm and I'm being a nutjob.
And of course it decided to jump up and be like "hi, remember me? Here's a little snow to remind you." just when I finally booked a session with the Tall One. When I called him last week he was really booked up, so it took us till yesterday to arrange a session, which I am really trying not to take personally. I mean, he's a busy guy and a in demand trainer, I get that, but I guess I thought that maybe after everything I was a little bit more than just another client, you know? But maybe he was just playing cool - I was the one that disappeared on him, so I guess he has to protect himself.
Anyway, we booked for yesterday morning and he showed up at my apartment at 8am and off we went... and almost right away it started to snow. The day before we had a teensy bit of what was more like really cold rain for a few minutes, but kind of not really, so I figured it was more of the same. But as we ran it got heavier. And even coated the street a little bit (most of it melted as soon as it landed, but not all). But neither of us said anything.
We just ran, in silence, me with my heart and lungs just about to explode all over the street and trying really hard not to puke because that would most definitely send him mixed signals. And neither of us mentioning the fact that we were running through a blizzard in May.
Then we got back to the apartment, and arranged another session for Friday and he said bye and jogged off in the snow. And almost as soon as he went, the snow stopped. Now I'm not gonna pretend that the sun came right out and it was springtime again, but, there was no more snow.
What does that mean? Is it a sign that Erik is part of my winter and I should move on even though I paid him (with HIS money so it's not like it matters). Or is there just freaky weather in Stockholm and I'm being a nutjob.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Popcorn for Thought
Hmmm.
Certain things intrigue me. Now, okay, they're not the most intellectual fascinations, it might be better if I got intrigued by 16th century literature or the history of the Roman empire or whatnot, but whatever. Sometimes, you need to switch off and be intrigued by silly things. Shuddup, leave me alone.
Anyway, you might have figured out that I like my little fix of celebrity gossip from time to time. It's harmless! I like all gossip actually, whether it's about my friends or their friends or people I've only seen on movie screens (or in fact people I only know from tabloids and don't actually know what they do for a living), it's all the same to me. I'm not more interested because it's celebrities, I just like to know what's up with people generally, I like to study human nature and relationships and hell okay, fashion.
I get my fix mostly from the net these days because I did try out a few of the magazines here and I found that not knowing what they were saying about people I didn't recognize anyway got old pretty fast. And actually, the gossip blogs and stuff can actually be more fun because it's more likely they'll be snarky rather than just printing stuff from the person's publicist, and also the comments section can be hours of head-shaking fun at the craziness of people.
So anyway, the question of the day is: why do certain celebrities get more papped than they should for their level of famousness?
I know there are rumors about certain people calling the paps and maybe that's just the answer, because otherwise I just can't figure out how this group of people have the bad luck to get caught so often when other people that I (and a lot of other people) would actually be more interested in seeing pictures of can go underground. And if some of them can go underground and not be sighted for weeks at a time (seriously, I know some sites that scour the internet for sightings of certain people and they are just nowhere to be found) how do they get caught out other times?
I mean, if Sandra Bullock can hide a whole baby for weeks and weeks, how come Rachel Bilson can't get coffee without being "caught"?
And BTW, blogs that shout CELEBRITIES CAUGHT... and get me all excited that it's going to be something nasty and then after the jump it's ... PICKING UP STARBUCKS really need to look up the word "caught" in the dictionary and be sued for false advertising because it's really not fair for those of us who were excited about seeing something nasty.
Then there's the sort of pap opportunities that seem to be telling a story... are they really, or are we finding answers in innocent photos because we had the questions? Like when there's rumors of a break-up and suddenly they're seen out together... is it just that they didn't break up so happened to get coffee (and btw why are celebrities forever getting coffee? It's like it's all they do) or did they plan to get caught out to let people know they're still happily in Hollywood love?
Hmmm.
Certain things intrigue me. Now, okay, they're not the most intellectual fascinations, it might be better if I got intrigued by 16th century literature or the history of the Roman empire or whatnot, but whatever. Sometimes, you need to switch off and be intrigued by silly things. Shuddup, leave me alone.
Anyway, you might have figured out that I like my little fix of celebrity gossip from time to time. It's harmless! I like all gossip actually, whether it's about my friends or their friends or people I've only seen on movie screens (or in fact people I only know from tabloids and don't actually know what they do for a living), it's all the same to me. I'm not more interested because it's celebrities, I just like to know what's up with people generally, I like to study human nature and relationships and hell okay, fashion.
I get my fix mostly from the net these days because I did try out a few of the magazines here and I found that not knowing what they were saying about people I didn't recognize anyway got old pretty fast. And actually, the gossip blogs and stuff can actually be more fun because it's more likely they'll be snarky rather than just printing stuff from the person's publicist, and also the comments section can be hours of head-shaking fun at the craziness of people.
So anyway, the question of the day is: why do certain celebrities get more papped than they should for their level of famousness?
I know there are rumors about certain people calling the paps and maybe that's just the answer, because otherwise I just can't figure out how this group of people have the bad luck to get caught so often when other people that I (and a lot of other people) would actually be more interested in seeing pictures of can go underground. And if some of them can go underground and not be sighted for weeks at a time (seriously, I know some sites that scour the internet for sightings of certain people and they are just nowhere to be found) how do they get caught out other times?
I mean, if Sandra Bullock can hide a whole baby for weeks and weeks, how come Rachel Bilson can't get coffee without being "caught"?
And BTW, blogs that shout CELEBRITIES CAUGHT... and get me all excited that it's going to be something nasty and then after the jump it's ... PICKING UP STARBUCKS really need to look up the word "caught" in the dictionary and be sued for false advertising because it's really not fair for those of us who were excited about seeing something nasty.
Then there's the sort of pap opportunities that seem to be telling a story... are they really, or are we finding answers in innocent photos because we had the questions? Like when there's rumors of a break-up and suddenly they're seen out together... is it just that they didn't break up so happened to get coffee (and btw why are celebrities forever getting coffee? It's like it's all they do) or did they plan to get caught out to let people know they're still happily in Hollywood love?
Hmmm.
Decisions...
Carbs AND cardio, every time!!! The universe is all about balance.
As part of my resolution to be kinder to myself, I'm going to woman up and book some training sessions - not sure if there's really a bikini season in Sweden, but I'm gonna get cute for it just in case.
Oh wait, who do I have to call again to train... crap. No, it will be good! He's just a really good trainer and sweet guy! Am a grown up fully in charge of her emotions and hormones and am just looking to get fit and cute.
I'm actually blushing a little bit I posted that. But I can trust you guys, right? It's just us girls (and guys)!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Reflections
On a sunny spring evening.
Man it stays light late here - already in April it's lighter later than at home in the middle of summer. I was just told that come real summer, the sun will go down (not like in that movie in Alaska with Al Pacino), but it won't really get pitch dark at all. Dusk all night. I'm pretty psyched for that. And it won't make me as crazy as Al Pacino because I, unlike him, am smart enough to have a sleep mask. It really bugged me in that movie he never thought of that - woulda saved you a lot of trouble buddy!
Anyway.
Last Easter, we had such a normal day. Went over to my mom's and my cousin's and their kids were around and as usual we did this weird tradition that I swear my mother made up where the kids have to roll eggs down a hill (seriously, does anyone else on earth do this?). We exchanged chocolate eggs and had a huge lunch and had coffee out on the deck.
And then there's this year. In a few months, I'm not married any more, and there's tensions within my family I don't really want to go in to (not all to do with my marriage, but some) and I had an affair with a giant Swedish guy when I've been with no one but my husband for years, and I speak a tiny bit of a foreign language (well kid myself I do at least) and I have this blog which has been such a comfort and inspiration.
It was a beautiful sunny day here in Stockholm (people say it's unusual for it to be quite this nice this early, but I chose not to hear them) and I sat out on my balcony and I read a book. My guilty pleasure is the True Blood books (I call them literary popcorn... no real good for you but sometimes they just hit the spot) and I didn't even realize that the new one came out until I happened to notice it in the English-speaking section of a bookstore. So I sat out and read and felt the sun on my skin and watched the world go by below me, and it was cool.
Man it stays light late here - already in April it's lighter later than at home in the middle of summer. I was just told that come real summer, the sun will go down (not like in that movie in Alaska with Al Pacino), but it won't really get pitch dark at all. Dusk all night. I'm pretty psyched for that. And it won't make me as crazy as Al Pacino because I, unlike him, am smart enough to have a sleep mask. It really bugged me in that movie he never thought of that - woulda saved you a lot of trouble buddy!
Anyway.
Last Easter, we had such a normal day. Went over to my mom's and my cousin's and their kids were around and as usual we did this weird tradition that I swear my mother made up where the kids have to roll eggs down a hill (seriously, does anyone else on earth do this?). We exchanged chocolate eggs and had a huge lunch and had coffee out on the deck.
And then there's this year. In a few months, I'm not married any more, and there's tensions within my family I don't really want to go in to (not all to do with my marriage, but some) and I had an affair with a giant Swedish guy when I've been with no one but my husband for years, and I speak a tiny bit of a foreign language (well kid myself I do at least) and I have this blog which has been such a comfort and inspiration.
It was a beautiful sunny day here in Stockholm (people say it's unusual for it to be quite this nice this early, but I chose not to hear them) and I sat out on my balcony and I read a book. My guilty pleasure is the True Blood books (I call them literary popcorn... no real good for you but sometimes they just hit the spot) and I didn't even realize that the new one came out until I happened to notice it in the English-speaking section of a bookstore. So I sat out and read and felt the sun on my skin and watched the world go by below me, and it was cool.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
You Don't Know Someone Until...
... you have walked a mile in their shoes, or so they say. Well a mile would take a really long time and probably not be all that interesting, but because a lot of people seem to be really interested in life in Södermalm, I thought it would be fun/weird/cool if you could walk a block in my shoes.
Well not necessary my shoes (though if you want to put on super cute lilac sneakers that just arrived before you click then don't let me stop you!) but... well anyway... just watch the darn video!!!
Sorry I'm not the greatest camera person, but I will try to get better!!!
Well not necessary my shoes (though if you want to put on super cute lilac sneakers that just arrived before you click then don't let me stop you!) but... well anyway... just watch the darn video!!!
Sorry I'm not the greatest camera person, but I will try to get better!!!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The crazy version of things
A lot of people have been reading this blog a while.
Can I ask you one thing?
Do I seem crazy to you? Do I seem mentally unhinged or unstable or flat out lost my marbles? I get mad, sure, I don't think I ever denied that but I think I had a right when what happened happened, no? I like my gossip and celebrities, sure, but does anyone here think that my "list" is anything more than a joke? Do you feel like you should warn the guys on it that I might be after them?? Do you? Seriously, please tell me.
Because that's basically what the %$£&* I used to be married to is telling people. And people who have known me a long time, are ALEGEDLY believing him. Because I guess when your wife is kerAZY you get to go off with hot young Swedish things and people SYMPATHIZE with you and think it's a good thing that you are finally getting to have a little fun and relaxation in your life after WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH BEING MARRIED TO A CRAZY PERSON.
But can someone tell me seriously one thing that makes me crazy? That I have too much respect for myself to put up with his %£$&$@& and I chucked him out the MINUTE I found out? Even though people here advised me to consider giving him another chance I knew that he had blown all trust and respect between us and I AM BETTER THAN THAT. Okay fine the balcony scene was a little out there when I locked him out the apartment BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME?!?! And more than that, WAS I THE ONLY PERSON A PART OF THAT SITUATION??
Apparently so. Apparently the guy whose been flirting it up at parties with desperate wannabe actresses and whatnot and moved in with his SECRETARY (he can't even be ORIGINAL!!!) is a terrible victim in all this and PEOPLE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. MY EX FRIEND came over to bring me back home FOR MY OWN GOOD. Because I can't cope I guess, being crazy and all. Do I seem to any of you I can't cope? Because everyone in the world would be totally fine and immediately confident moving to a new country where they SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE and also their husband leaving them? I'm weird because I had a few little wobbles over that?
And the fact that I thought it was a little bit cool we were having lunch near a true to life movie star makes me even more whacko. I guess I am retreating into a fantasy life to deny the reality of what is happening to me. I guess I am! I guess I SERIOUSLY think that a MOVIE STAR is FOLLOWING me around his neighborhood tyring to get me to marry his son!! I guess I seriously meant that and it wasn't a JOKE which people tell sometimes because it's fUNY. It's not exactly my fault they took out her sense of humor along with all the fat in her thighs! Guess those lipo machines go a little out of control sometimes N'EST PAS?
Can I ask you one thing?
Do I seem crazy to you? Do I seem mentally unhinged or unstable or flat out lost my marbles? I get mad, sure, I don't think I ever denied that but I think I had a right when what happened happened, no? I like my gossip and celebrities, sure, but does anyone here think that my "list" is anything more than a joke? Do you feel like you should warn the guys on it that I might be after them?? Do you? Seriously, please tell me.
Because that's basically what the %$£&* I used to be married to is telling people. And people who have known me a long time, are ALEGEDLY believing him. Because I guess when your wife is kerAZY you get to go off with hot young Swedish things and people SYMPATHIZE with you and think it's a good thing that you are finally getting to have a little fun and relaxation in your life after WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH BEING MARRIED TO A CRAZY PERSON.
But can someone tell me seriously one thing that makes me crazy? That I have too much respect for myself to put up with his %£$&$@& and I chucked him out the MINUTE I found out? Even though people here advised me to consider giving him another chance I knew that he had blown all trust and respect between us and I AM BETTER THAN THAT. Okay fine the balcony scene was a little out there when I locked him out the apartment BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME?!?! And more than that, WAS I THE ONLY PERSON A PART OF THAT SITUATION??
Apparently so. Apparently the guy whose been flirting it up at parties with desperate wannabe actresses and whatnot and moved in with his SECRETARY (he can't even be ORIGINAL!!!) is a terrible victim in all this and PEOPLE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. MY EX FRIEND came over to bring me back home FOR MY OWN GOOD. Because I can't cope I guess, being crazy and all. Do I seem to any of you I can't cope? Because everyone in the world would be totally fine and immediately confident moving to a new country where they SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE and also their husband leaving them? I'm weird because I had a few little wobbles over that?
And the fact that I thought it was a little bit cool we were having lunch near a true to life movie star makes me even more whacko. I guess I am retreating into a fantasy life to deny the reality of what is happening to me. I guess I am! I guess I SERIOUSLY think that a MOVIE STAR is FOLLOWING me around his neighborhood tyring to get me to marry his son!! I guess I seriously meant that and it wasn't a JOKE which people tell sometimes because it's fUNY. It's not exactly my fault they took out her sense of humor along with all the fat in her thighs! Guess those lipo machines go a little out of control sometimes N'EST PAS?
Monday, April 18, 2011
Weirdness
I mentioned that I had lunch with a friend on Saturday. What I really should have said is, I had lunch with a "friend" on Saturday.
Because she's his friend.
And as lunch went on, I realized that she was most definitely not my friend. Here's what happened:
Friday, I get a call. "Heeeeeeeey [OhioGirl], guess who? I'm in Stockholm!" And I'm like really. Why? Because, you need to know that right away, I did not trust this. This girl, was my friend once upon a time ago a million years ago, then I started dating him, and suddenly she was his friend. They work in the same industry, so every time we had dinner parties or whatever, they would be locked deep in conversation about they people they knew and stuff. Not like that, I don't mean anything was going on, just that they were all - oh we're work colleagues, talking about work, you know, important stuff not like the neighborhood gossip you are blathering on about. Because you know, discussing who is sleeping with who in an office is totally different to discussing who is sleeping with who in a neighborhood. Way more intellectual.
So when she called, little warning antennas went up, but then I was like, it was all a long time ago, and she did call me, and it would be really nice to talk to another American and somebody from home... and okay, I am a teensy bit curious about the gossip from home about what happened with the Ex and me - I know it's got to be huge and it won't be good for me to hear but I want to anyway.
She wanted to meet for lunch someplace near her (fancy) hotel, but I was like, no, you come to my turf. Which she agreed to. Another warning bell.
I felt like I was going into battle. People round here are pretty casual. Funky casual, but I can't pull that off so I just go with casual. I started out when we got here keeping up my usual regime of roots/nails/facials then realized that it wasn't the done thing (once Erik made some comment about how it was funny his little sister wears make up all the time, like it was unusual and weird), so I decided to be natural and Swedish (don't panic though, I still wear clothes!). But to see Ms X I had to be in full on groomed mode. I felt like a farmer preparing fields for planting because after all this time, a combine harvester was practically needed.
But we got there, and for once Swedish weather cooperated with me and I met her at this cool bar out in the sunshine and of course a Hollywood star was a few tables away, so I was like - yeah, this is my life now, you make sure everybody back home knows about it.
She didn't know we split up. What the eff?
She was all like, so where's [Ex] today? Me... uhh, at his new girlfriend's I guess.
I asked the close people I told not to spread it around, but I a) didn't think they would, and b) didn't think he would keep it a secret.
But nobody knows. At least, according to her, nobody knows. Something's up.
There's more, but I have to digest it a little before I can share. It's all very weird and effed up. OhioGirl is on her guard.
Because she's his friend.
And as lunch went on, I realized that she was most definitely not my friend. Here's what happened:
Friday, I get a call. "Heeeeeeeey [OhioGirl], guess who? I'm in Stockholm!" And I'm like really. Why? Because, you need to know that right away, I did not trust this. This girl, was my friend once upon a time ago a million years ago, then I started dating him, and suddenly she was his friend. They work in the same industry, so every time we had dinner parties or whatever, they would be locked deep in conversation about they people they knew and stuff. Not like that, I don't mean anything was going on, just that they were all - oh we're work colleagues, talking about work, you know, important stuff not like the neighborhood gossip you are blathering on about. Because you know, discussing who is sleeping with who in an office is totally different to discussing who is sleeping with who in a neighborhood. Way more intellectual.
So when she called, little warning antennas went up, but then I was like, it was all a long time ago, and she did call me, and it would be really nice to talk to another American and somebody from home... and okay, I am a teensy bit curious about the gossip from home about what happened with the Ex and me - I know it's got to be huge and it won't be good for me to hear but I want to anyway.
She wanted to meet for lunch someplace near her (fancy) hotel, but I was like, no, you come to my turf. Which she agreed to. Another warning bell.
I felt like I was going into battle. People round here are pretty casual. Funky casual, but I can't pull that off so I just go with casual. I started out when we got here keeping up my usual regime of roots/nails/facials then realized that it wasn't the done thing (once Erik made some comment about how it was funny his little sister wears make up all the time, like it was unusual and weird), so I decided to be natural and Swedish (don't panic though, I still wear clothes!). But to see Ms X I had to be in full on groomed mode. I felt like a farmer preparing fields for planting because after all this time, a combine harvester was practically needed.
But we got there, and for once Swedish weather cooperated with me and I met her at this cool bar out in the sunshine and of course a Hollywood star was a few tables away, so I was like - yeah, this is my life now, you make sure everybody back home knows about it.
She didn't know we split up. What the eff?
She was all like, so where's [Ex] today? Me... uhh, at his new girlfriend's I guess.
I asked the close people I told not to spread it around, but I a) didn't think they would, and b) didn't think he would keep it a secret.
But nobody knows. At least, according to her, nobody knows. Something's up.
There's more, but I have to digest it a little before I can share. It's all very weird and effed up. OhioGirl is on her guard.
World's Worst Paparazzi
I know I'm on the lookout for a new job right now, but I think it's safe to say we can rule this one out! I went to lunch with a friend who was visiting from the US (have to share something about that later, but I'll do the good stuff first) and guess who was a few tables away from me - my old buddy Stellan! Seriously, it's getting awkward. I mean, dude, if you want me to marry your son you need come out and ask and stop just following me around ;-)
So anyway. I can finally prove I saw him and not have weirdos emailing me to say I'm fantasizing my own neighbor. I mean seriously! If I was going to fantasize a meeting with that family, it would not be him (sorry, sure he's very nice and all) and there would not be so many people between us... or so many clothes................................. sorry got distracted there.
Actually, the main reason the photos are so bad is that I was really conscious of not bothering him or making it obvious - I mean, dude gets to enjoy Saturday lunch like anybody else, right? I walked past him when we left and could have got an awesome close up, but he probably would have seen me then and that would a) not have been fair on him and b) I'm a little scared of him. Somebody with that many kids is going to have a lot of experience in chastizing, right?! But most importantly, it's just not really the done thing here and I totally respect that.
 |
| Okay, dude in black shirt walked past just as I was taking photo. That's not my fault. |
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| The top of his head. Ummm... look carefully. |
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| A clear shot! Kinda. Should have zoomed in some more, but... well... I didn't. |
Actually, the main reason the photos are so bad is that I was really conscious of not bothering him or making it obvious - I mean, dude gets to enjoy Saturday lunch like anybody else, right? I walked past him when we left and could have got an awesome close up, but he probably would have seen me then and that would a) not have been fair on him and b) I'm a little scared of him. Somebody with that many kids is going to have a lot of experience in chastizing, right?! But most importantly, it's just not really the done thing here and I totally respect that.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
A public service announcement
Dear Hollywood,
Us gossip fans are not as stupid as you think we are. We read the &%$^* you spew out to us and we can smell when it stinks of, ahem, natural fertilizer! Has there ever been a fauxmance that half the world hasn't called out?
Random engagement rumors two minutes after they started dating! Weird body language poses that look like monkeys grooming each other rather than regular people into each other! "Anonymous insider" observations that she is the hottest sh*t on the planet and he is so into her and she gets hit on everywhere she goes (umm, even if that's true, think a little thing like SHE'S A FAMOUS ACTRESS might have something to do with it?)! We see through this stuff and it makes us LESS interested in your clients not MORE!
We like to follow actors and artists that we RESPECT. Who have INTEGRITY and HONESTY. Or are at least good enough actors to pull off seeming to be in love with someone. If you have to do this, do better at it! But don't do it.
K thanks.
OhioGirl
Us gossip fans are not as stupid as you think we are. We read the &%$^* you spew out to us and we can smell when it stinks of, ahem, natural fertilizer! Has there ever been a fauxmance that half the world hasn't called out?
Random engagement rumors two minutes after they started dating! Weird body language poses that look like monkeys grooming each other rather than regular people into each other! "Anonymous insider" observations that she is the hottest sh*t on the planet and he is so into her and she gets hit on everywhere she goes (umm, even if that's true, think a little thing like SHE'S A FAMOUS ACTRESS might have something to do with it?)! We see through this stuff and it makes us LESS interested in your clients not MORE!
We like to follow actors and artists that we RESPECT. Who have INTEGRITY and HONESTY. Or are at least good enough actors to pull off seeming to be in love with someone. If you have to do this, do better at it! But don't do it.
K thanks.
OhioGirl
It's Thursday
Meeting with the ex today with lawyers and lawyers dialing in from the US. Fun! Fun! Fun! It's not even Friday. Sorry for putting that song in your head, but misery loves company.
Am hearing a rumor my rockstar crush is a pr plant - I'm not one of those bloggers, sorry! Seriously, what is with the world when people are so cynical? Some things are real and regular... conspiracy theoryists chill the eff out! I'm just a music fan!!!!
Kinda bored of him seeing as I haven't been able to find anything else out.
Erik will be here in a little while to chase me up some hills so better go get dressed! The Swedes may be chilled with nakedness, but not sure they're ready for me jiggling and wobbling around the streets of Södermalm before they've had lunch...
Am hearing a rumor my rockstar crush is a pr plant - I'm not one of those bloggers, sorry! Seriously, what is with the world when people are so cynical? Some things are real and regular... conspiracy theoryists chill the eff out! I'm just a music fan!!!!
Kinda bored of him seeing as I haven't been able to find anything else out.
Erik will be here in a little while to chase me up some hills so better go get dressed! The Swedes may be chilled with nakedness, but not sure they're ready for me jiggling and wobbling around the streets of Södermalm before they've had lunch...
Monday, April 11, 2011
Things That Suck
1. Movies that aren't as good as you thought especially if you were looking forward to them
2. Clothes that mysteriously shrink when you have been avoiding working out because of a awkward situation with your trainer and also eating a lot of chocolate. Thinking of suing clothes manufacturers.
3. Rockstars that disappear like Cinderella and don't even leave their shoe behind for you to try to find them
4. Men that don't make sense. So, men.
5. People that don't forget stuff from a million years ago - get over it!
6. People who decide you are insulting them or being mean even when it's all in their head and you weren't even paying attention to them
7. Unreasonable ex husbands and the lawyers that won't let you shoot them
8. People who think they are a lot more interesting/special than they are
9. Fake people
10.Recipes that don't work out even when you followed them perfectly
The List...
So badly needing updating!
A little young and cutsey, but doncha just want to pinch those cheeks?
A little young and cutsey, but doncha just want to pinch those cheeks?
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